Beautifully said. It is sad isn't it?

Judy, you have to come to terms with who you are. It took me a long time to except who I am. I am not sure how long you have had this. But its been 16yrs for me. If you need to grieve you can write me. I will be there. I do care and know how hard it is.Take care..

Its a huge loss, isn't it? Its been at least 8 years since I have been sick, although just recently diagnosed. Its no wonder we all have gone through depression or are depressed. Funny though, after all these years and finally being diagnosed and not being told I am crazy, I am starting to feel better emotionally.

I think we have to try and re-invent ourselves...I am sill working on it, to be continued.....

lol

yes, like cassandraak, we need to try to re-invent our self. Like I could get the courage to paint again and leave behind my day.

I agree with Maureen - very beautifully said. Do you mind if I borrow that? I have been really lamenting this lately. I realize there is *no* point in fretting about the things I used to take for granted that are either much more difficult or impossible to do anymore. I used to have a great social life - now, the computer is the biggest part of my social life.

Eleanor is right, also - we *do* have to come to terms with who we are now. It's hard, but really - what other choice do we have?

I try to be an optimistic person and I think I do a pretty good job most of the time, but I also don't voice my inner thoughts to very many people. It's hard to be enthusiastic about life when life has become so much more difficult. But then, I look around and see the struggles other people are facing, and I actually feel fortunate. Yes, I have fibro and yes, it sucks, but it won't kill me. I have full use of my arms and legs (a little wobbly at times, but still!) and, in spite of the brain fog, I'm still an intelligent, passionate woman.

I am very grateful that I found this site. Being able to just let it out - how I really feel inside - helps so very much.

Sending ALL of you warm, gentle hugs from the frozen north.

I'm so sorry u are going thru this too. It is so hard and I can relate and u said it so gracefully. It's hard to know who u are when who u r changes daily.

OH! MY! That is excatly how I feel today,coming to terms with this is a diffcult thing to do.( well speaking for myself.)And i am sure at one point in time everyone has or will go through it, Keep your chin up!!! If I can do it so can you,We all get side tracted sometimes,But we have to enforce the positive things that we have learned.You have to use more muscles in your face when you frown,SMILE it is easier!! ((HUGS))

Hello JudyS,
There is a new science out that's real big in the wellness community and is only through word of mouth. If you'd like to know more about this science, drop me a note at mannalife@yahoo.com. You deserve to know about it because you seem like you have a passion for life that your'e not resdy to give up.
Sincerely,
Ann

I love the new RA commercial advertising Humeria for RA, but it fits...........
You aren't who you used to be...
but...
WHO WILL YOU BE?
It always flashes through my mind when I am filling sad. Yes, I greive for who I use to be, who I wanted to me, and I still trying to fiquire out who I am going to be.

When I got sick seven years ago, I was just starting to become the person that I had always wanted to be. Fibro has really derailed my life. I know that I need to accept that this is who I am now but something inside me just screams "It's not fair!"

I feel exactly like you Judy. I was just talking to my husband about this. I really cannot believe how my life has changed in a yr. I cry all the time and I cannot come to terms that this is who I am now. I get up everyday thinking that some how some way I will revert back to " Angie", but the day goes on and she is lost. I was a person who was sooo outgoing, full of energy and laughter, I cannot find her, she is buried under all of this pain. So, i grieve ALL the time, I know it is a process but I dont know or think I will ever accept this.

I have been actively working on the grieving process with my therapist for some time now, and i am still stuck in not one, not two, but all 4 phases! They say we all will come to accept in our own time...who are "they", and do they promise? Too all of us...this sucks, but it will get better when we find new interests that our bodies will let us participate in!!!

I grieve no only for the person I was (which I feel is an ongoing process) but for the lack of human understanding and compassion lacking from the outside world..sometimes that includes family which really hurts...I don't know why this has to be so hard for the outside world to be sensitive to...the vets coming back from all wars don't always have physical scars..most have invisible scars from ptsd...are pain is invisible to others, unfortunately...I just think most people can't deal with anything that involves discomfort or is viewed as broken/sick, etc..for me, having been a medical professional, it is extremely difficult to get over/around...my patients were so important to me..their fear, their pain, etc..many were survivors of the camps in Germany during WW2...sometimes I had to hold them for a lenthly amount of time while they talked, remembered and cried...usually on every visit...I learned that they needed to speak and have someone with compassion listen and really care about what they were saying...I miss my work...I miss my patients...I miss loving, caring human beings...thank god for all of you...I"m so tired of being strong..mostly for others who can't deal with my changed life...I now have become medically disabled and am home..where I can take my time during the day if I hurt...I can sew, read, etc..and am grateful for my husband who is so good and kind...I did buy some smiley face stickers to place on my forehead to show the kind of day I'm having...I draw a line through the face if it's an ouch day...it may seem funny but it has saved me from having to constantly explain how I am...thanks so much for your post Judy..

well i can pretty much say i have accepted my life . but its hard not being able to do the things i used to do . but i have my new wheel chair ready for when i can no longer walk.

I grieve as well. I was in 2 car accidents in 2000. Just a week or two before my divorce. Life hasn't been the same since. & years of pain, invasive treatments, non invasive, surgury on my neck etc. Some people get divorced and get alone and help each other. I've had no such luck in that dept. My daughter loves fighting with me... and the fight is out of me. WHen she gets that way I just back off and wait for her to call and apologize. SHe's pregnant with my 2nd grandchild and I just feel shut off. Thank god I go to counseling every week. She keeps me on course. She said the biggest thing I need to work on and accept are my limitations and accepting who I am now and letting people know they have to accept me the way I am.