So I've been doing pretty ok lately, well as ok as I can be, but it never lasts. About 3 weeks ago my husband in not so many words told me that basically the Fibro is what's causing the issues in our marriage. Although I do know that I am not the only one to blame for our issues, it sure is becoming harder and harder to be happy lately. I've been sick for about a week now and it's just one 9 day after another. I'm sad and can't explain or understand why, I want to cry but I can't. My birthday is in TWO days and then Mother's Day is 3 days after that and I cannot find one single thing that is making me feel good right now. I feel pathetic, I have 3 wonderful kids and a husband who loves me and I'm sad and can't figure out why. This MONSTER is taking everything from me and I can't stand it, it's taking a toll on my marriage, on my ability to parent like I need, it's taking my happiness, my strength, my sanity! I just want ONE day, ONE day of normal, one day I can wake up and not feel like I've been run over and beaten at the same time, where I can help my kids get ready for school instead of just sitting up in my bed and telling them what to do, one day I can get out of this bed or off of the couch and actually get down on the floor and PLAY with my 3 year old, one day I can have the house cleaned, not just picked up, but actually CLEAN and dinner on the table when my husband comes home, one day I'm not so tired and worn out and in pain that I can actually feel good reading to my kids at night before bed time instad of ALWAYS having to send my husband to do it. ONE DAY! That's all I want, just to remember how it feels to be me, or at least the me I used to be.
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