Sorry I haven't been here for so long. My Mom has been in the hospital for over a month from abdominal surgery and everything went wrong that could. My Gramps had another heart attack and is in a nursing home right now gettting physical therapy. I am at my lowest of lows. My boyfriend broke up with me I guess. Here I sit stuck in a two bedroom apartment over his mother. Yes his mother is my landlady is that great! My Boyfriend got an eviction notice from his place and wanted me to take care of him. Share duties. The puppy is into everything and I feel on the verge of a nervous break down. For ten years he has gotten his way and I have done what he said but I just can't anymore. I am scared. But more because he drove me everywhere and how will I get to the grocery store or all my doctor appointments. Sure I am sad about how he used to treat me but that hasn't been there for a long time. I really just don't want to be with anyone. He took the puppy and went home his home that is. All over I simply didn't want to take care of the puppy all day so he could do his business. He bought the puppy and it is massively spoiled and likes no one but him. I just don't want anything to do with him anymore. I got hooked moving an hour away to his mom so that she could use the rent money. Then I would just spend most my time at his place in a tiny room stuffed mostly with his teenagers stuff. We never do anything together or talk. I pay for the car and insurance and all repairs and wait idly while he decideds when to take me. Not being able to driving sucks. No buses here and no med cabs. I want to move back to the county that I could get cab rides to my doctor and they had Lift Line to go places and a public transport system. But guess what how am I going to look at apartments or even pay for a U-Haul and man power to move. I don't think he'll take me anywhere next month if I don't fork up the money for insurance and car payment for our Honda which is in his mother's name who is my landlady. I have no friends. NONE. Even if I did get the money no one will take me to look for an apartment or done to the dreaded Social Service Building to get all my disability and foodstamps transfered so I can move. So much. I am so scared and alone right now. I don't know what if going to happen to me. I just am one of those people who can't live with someone. Especially when they act like my Dad. God I need prayer and a divine miracle. I can't sleep and I feel like nothing is going to change. I feel like I am stuck in the twiligt zone. I wish I could call Mommy and Daddy to get me out of this but I am all alone. Everything has just go crap in less then a day. I want someone but I don't want to be with anyone just so I am not alone. I feel completely helpless. My Lord is with me but I just can't feel him right now. MY Boyfriend thinks this is all my fault. I think we are both at fault and he is so used to me saying yes that he is stunned and I am a terrible person. I just want to be around a great group of gals right now. I don't have an physical ones. I am so said and scared. Please pray for me.
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