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ok, My husband and I just had an HUGE blow out. He DOES NOT get it. I explained to him that he needs to pull his weight around the house (the same discussion we have about once a month) I do everything, work full time, and raise a 3 year old, while he joins a quate's league every wednesday and randomly goes out with friends. He does not, mow the lawn, clean the floors, walk the dogs, and all the other crap that has to be done every day I DO
I do 98% of homeowner/working mom responsibilties, while he does maybe 2%. Other than giving me time when my fibro is REALLY bad, he doesn't support me AT ALL.
He swares he does, but can't give me an example. Hmmm, maybe that is because he doesn't.
He says, we would start to get along if I had sex with him (we only do it like once every 2 months because we don't like each other too much)He thinks sex will bring us closer. I disagree! Maybe if he acted like a father/husband and homeowner I would RESPECT him and start to appreciate who he is.
and MAYBE then, we could even THINK about sex. He says, he won't sleep in the bedroom with me, because I watch TV at night, and grind my teeth. (it annoys him)
SO, I just disconnected Direct TV online, so that I could show him we still won't get along, even without the TV at night arguement.
I can't see how, if he doesn't get it now, how we are supposed to stay married for the rest of our lives, it seems we BOTH would be happier without each other to take care of.
Thanks for letting me vent
Happy Times
I do 98% of homeowner/working mom responsibilties, while he does maybe 2%. Other than giving me time when my fibro is REALLY bad, he doesn't support me AT ALL.
He swares he does, but can't give me an example. Hmmm, maybe that is because he doesn't.
He says, we would start to get along if I had sex with him (we only do it like once every 2 months because we don't like each other too much)He thinks sex will bring us closer. I disagree! Maybe if he acted like a father/husband and homeowner I would RESPECT him and start to appreciate who he is.
and MAYBE then, we could even THINK about sex. He says, he won't sleep in the bedroom with me, because I watch TV at night, and grind my teeth. (it annoys him)
SO, I just disconnected Direct TV online, so that I could show him we still won't get along, even without the TV at night arguement.
I can't see how, if he doesn't get it now, how we are supposed to stay married for the rest of our lives, it seems we BOTH would be happier without each other to take care of.
Thanks for letting me vent
Happy Times
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
and yes.....90 percent of women know JUST HOW YOU FEEL !!
Have had it in my own life and is that way with ALL my female friends... do I have it that way anymore ??....NOPE !!
cause I kicked happy ass to the curb...{where he still sits to this very day with his head in his hands}...I figured if I hafta DO IT ALL I may as well be able to have sex with someone I like !!.....
thats my story...yupp
Blessings
I am sorry you are going thru this with ur husband...I do hope he sees the light before you hit him over the head with it.he is surely walkin in the dark girlfriend
Men need sex to feel close and women need to feel close to have sex - proven fact!
As to how you solve the problem, I don't know sorry. I do most of the stuff at my house too, guys just DON'T GET IT. They think if they pick something up and put in on the chair then that is housework!!!!!
I'm with you here. Try counselling, it has worked for us to an extent...
There are some good sites onliine to help guide you in communicating with your spouse (and guiding him to communicate with you, and YES, sadly, they need that!!!) that could help you both get past the hurt and resentments that you both currently are feeling and move you to where you are both getting what you want, without the arguements and resentments.
Good to catch this as early as possible!!!
It sounds like both of you feel unheard and unappreciated.
It feels like the communication style in your household has gone where it's so easy to go without knowing it, to blame, anger, spite, etc.
It can all change with good communication and understanding.
Check out the Mars and Venus books by Gray, as a starter, perhaps.
xxx
http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/features/7-relationship-problems-how-solve-them
And I get it, believe me.
Lots of hugs!
xxx