Hi Morus,

I have been there, done that. It got old.

I make myself get out and take a drive or a walk. Anything to get me out of the situation. Fibro will make you angry. But please try to think before you speak, and try not to hurt the very ones you love.

I like to lock myself in the bathroom, or my bedroom and just "veg" out for a while, too.

I have found locking myself in my room with a book to get my mind off of things helps. Or coming here and venting my anger in my journal. I have to be careful not to be a whiner to my family as I tend to want to do because I want someone to know how bad I feel. I understand your pain. Just keep coming here. We will listen.

Dearest Sunshine and Nina...what wonderful ideas! Part of my self-pity is that I feel I always have to BE THERE for my family, etc. Well, I can't be there "very well" if I'm whining and screaming etc!?! SO, disappearing into another room, taking a drive, a walk, reading are ALL good ideas. I need to remember that I'm putting the pressure on myself and I can just as easily take it off of myself.

Thanks for this info, it put things in perspective. I'm going to have a talk with my hubby and daughter tonight so that if I suddenly disappear, they understand why and what I'm trying to achieve.

I know your answers may seem like common sense to some, but to me they are lifesavers because when you're in the depths of such an ugly emotion as self-pity, you can't think straight. You can't see the forest from the trees. And that forest can get pretty dark and nasty!?!

Thanks again, my friends and I wish you a happy and "pain-limited" day!!

Love, Morus

I'm sorry for bumping my own post. This is not because Sunshine and Nina didn't give anything but EXCELLENT advice. I'm just looking for ALL the ideas I can get because I don't want to make my family and friends hate me and I don't want to lose them. Again, I'm not trying to be selfish.....just desperate... ;)

Thanks all! Morus....

This is a very real part of fibro. As women, we are told we are supposed to be all to everyone. Sometimes we have to take a step back and take care of ourselves, otherwise we will go crazy. I hope your family will understand. Mine does, Thank God.

well..it is a part of the grieveing process...grieving for your Old you as you come to accpet the new you...you WILL get past it once you start finding things that help you to help yourself...it brings a sense of empowerment BACK to you at a time when it seems we have LOST all our power...

prayers and hugs to you...

Bonniw

Self pity. I have several recommendations for you. Others have made some of the same ones, so I'll not repost them.

When you feel self pity, it makes you angry. Carry a little notebook around, when you are angry write down exactly what you are angry about. Do that for several days and you should see a pattern develop. Once you see the pattern, you can come up with some alternatives. That way you can learn to act and not react.

In your note book, write down how you know you are angry. Seriously. What happens in your body and mind that tells you to feel anger? Do that for about a week. Then send me a message.

Have you considered going to counseling? You are going through some heavy duty things and it might help you at this point. Not couples counseling, but individual counseling. You should be able to get counseling on a sliding fee basis at your local mental health center.

Gentle hugs to you!

Sun, I know that this is REAL...and I am happy you said that. I don't feel so alone. I'm not so good at taking care of myself, so that's what I have to learn. I feel guilty if I do something for myself, and I can't do alot because it costs money. ;)

Ah well, I will try harder and thanks for your VERY helpful input and understanding...I WISH we could get together for tea and cookies or something!!

Bonni, very true. But when does this grieving process end....? I have been fighting that the "old me" is gone for almost 10 years. I am not accepting it. I still want to jog for 2 miles, work a 40 an hour week and do it all! I can't get through to acceptance that I am who I am now and that's OK...it's not....ugh....self pity setting in...sorry....ughers. I really appreciate you guys being here...I DO!!!

Maglet, notebooks...I have them I LOVE to write...this is also a good idea.....and the counseling....well, the NY metro area....I've been quoted a minimum of 50 bucks for 40 minutes....don't have it. Don't know what to do. My insurance sucks too....I guess I have to see what Medicare might cover....

I feel overwhelmed by my life and my illness.....I know I am not alone...and I'm whining TOO much.

Hugs and MANY Thanks to you all!!! You are so invaluable to this board. Things on this board are SO great. We just have to ignore the negative stuff!!!!

Thanks again all.....for reading my stream of consciousness....

Morus

Look for some books about "body betrayal." That is part of what you are feeling about now. Do an online search, I think there are some websites with information on them.

Thanks Maglet, will do.

Hugs! morus