I went to bed and woke up exasperated with my partner. After re-injuring his back several weeks ago, he has had 2 epidurals and was off work for awhile. His short-term disability was only 60 percent of his regular salary, so he was anxious about getting back to work. He was given medication, therapy and limited work orders by his back doc as I sat right there. I struggled to help him rethink his work habits so he wouldnt re-injure himself, and finally gave up when he couldnt even manage to order the right sized luggage for his tools (he refused to measure his stuff before ordering the wrong size in identical dimensions TWICE.) So this weekend, after being back at work only since Thanksgiving week, he limps home after defying the doctor's orders on a long road trip. Upon returning home, he continues to refuse to follow drs orders by doing stupid stuff like not taking a regular dose of naproxin, or taking just one, or refusing to contact the on-call doc. His refusal to care for himself is both aggravating and hurtful to me. When he is like this, I suffer in all kinds of ways both big and small. I wonder if he cares. I fear he is somehow in the back of his brain trying to shorten his life. I am sad, upset, and scared. And I feel no matter how gently I might share my feelings, I come off looking bad - a no-win situation. Sigh. I dont know what to do, so I have just clammed up. This sucks, and it is not good for me.
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