How to help myself, by listening to others and sharing what I can share.... Fibromyalgia has caused my life to drastically change. It has caused me to loose friendships, to be misunderstood, it has caused problems with my social life and in my immediate family.. It has taken a tole on my patience and every day ability to function as a whole person. It has caused me to loose a college degree, to get further in debt, to loose a child, a home, an auto. It has caused me not to be able to get my child to school to finish her education , my strength, and my ability to be the person that I once was... On the outside, since fibro hides unless I have been at work all day, and can hardly walk, afterwards, my pain can not be seen. I smile even when the pain is difficult to deal with... My muscles feel as if I have just exercised for the first time in my life and way over did it.. I feel as if someone took a hammer to me... The mornings that I get out of bed an crawl to the bathroom, I wonder if I should just be thankful that I can crawl . Sores in my mouth, heart palipatations, terrible gerd, and henial hernia along with this. They tell me borderline lupus. Heart difficulties, and the sunlight sometimes I can not take.... Migrane headaches, and stomache pain along with IBS. Afraid to go anywhere that doesn\'t have a bathroom... Energy level bad at times. Sometimes non-functioning, and I can say I don\'t feel like doing something... Many do not understand. Blurred vision and nausea, and dizziness.... Ringing ears and back aches that feel as if I am in labor... My legs can fall out from under me at any time and my muscles in my hands, sometimes they do not work... Knees feel like they are going to stop working and my face feels like someone took their fist and punched me several times... Does this sound familiar? Severe pain in my chest , hands, stomache, and all the womanly parts. I have recently taken peppermint oil and rubbed on my feet, the bottom, because sometimes I feel as if I do not have feet. lately, I am waking as if someone drove nails in my the top muscles of my feet..... The same with my hands , that they say is carpal tunnel that I have.... Whatever it is - the pain --- oh the pain.... If I could give each of you a gift this Christmas, and I had all the money in the world , it would be to be disease free, healing after healing. I would ask God to heal the diseases, heal the markings of abuse on the body and allow everyone to just feel well all over, inside and out.... I pray this holiday season that all of you are blessed with not only better health, but healings. I often question God as to why, and the only answer I ever got was , not all know me and because all do not know me, you have this to help those that do not know me... How can we truely understand unless we experience ? We can not. So then every experience that you have in life good or bad is to help someone else, to share , to love. May this Christmas bring love in to your hearts and in to your homes. So if we remember to forgive those that do not understand what is going on with us, because they really have no way of knowing, unless they experience this themselves, and we write the other ones that do not care off to ignorance and self-centeredness, maybe this helps. Where are the answers to this disease. I certainly hope they surface, soon... The causes, the treatments, without the terrible side effects. Tonight I talked to a young woman here that had to give-up her little baby boy, and I am talking to another grandma , looking for treatment for her grandson, there is one pain after another, and so to get through this disease, I pray that God reminds me that when I feel all this pain in my body that someone somewhere is in pain as well, that no medication can touch, and that I will remember to pray and to be that friend that I have been called to be, may I never forget to care about others and to just try to understand.... even though I have not experienced some of their pain.... God Bless you all this Christmas, and I am praying.............. Paula
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