Don't feel alone. :)

I actually WANT to clean my room, but I just can't do it and expect to sleep at night. My parents think I can just bear with it, and that's true, but it would mean no sleep, as well as too many pills.

Tell them that what's more important than you doing something, is them getting their heads together and learning how to comfort you, rather than add stress to your already stress-filled life.

Tell her that if shes so worried about it then why doesnt she be apart of the solution instead of the problem. Tell them all that regardless of what they think about you that they should bring their concerns about your life to you and not too each other.

Im starting to suspect that the people I know are feeling the same way about me. I havent heard them say anything yet, its just they way theyve been acting lately. Piss on em.....Oopps I am sick and tired of trying to please other people. I do exactly what I can and no more. Thats all you can do. If i was near you I would be happy to come over and help you clean. Not tell you to get on it!!

Tell if it is that important to her to hire a maid for you. You're doing the best that you can.
Blessings,
Jan

A lot of us have had to deal with this. I always get hurt, others get angry. There are some things that can't be changed. Who we get for relatives is one of them!LOL I think honest and straight forward answers are always the best response. I always like the phrase "Walk a mile in my moccasins befor critizing." I'm sorry your family is so unfeeling toward what you are going through. Hugs and more hugs,Donna

man! It's like you are talking about my family!

They are my family and I love them, but they do the exact same things to me!

They assume my diseases are just a joke and anything that results from me being ill is just a way for me to get out of things!

Mind you, I hardly ever say I feel bad! I do what I can do and still it's never good enough! On the off chance I say I feel bad they tell say something negative about me and my fake disease!

I have NEVER tried to act lazy or anything! I do what I can do! This disease makes it hard to do things! That's not my fault and what I can't do, I have tried to do many times and I just can't do it!

I AM SICK! In their eyes I either need to suck it up or act like an invalid and then that's how real sick people act and thus it's a valid thing! Otherwise, they could give a flip!

Then when they ask how I'm doing, I'm thinking..."I know you really don't wanna know how I'm truly doing! To you guys, it's a big old joke!"

It's exasperating!

Take care,
Stay sane!

It really hurts when the people we love just don't get it. The other replys had some good points, but one I'd like to add is that they are the ones at fault here, not you. They could, as someone said, hire a cleaner for you, or offer to do it for (or with) you, they could be gracious and keep their mouths shut, etc. But they have NO right to chastize you. My feeling is if you have a problem with my weight, my clothes, my car, my house, WHATEVER, it is your problem, not mine. Easier said than done I know, especially with family, but you have far too much to deal with to let them get to you. Hang in there. Hugs

I would talk really slow, loud and patronizing, while rolling my eyes...I ...HAVE......FI...BRO...MY...AL....GIA!!!! Then add, perhaps you could get me a maid service for a Christmas present or better yet, help me out yourself because you maybe care about me.

And if they still don't get it say "would you insult someone with cancer or who just had a stroke???" why are you insulting me?

AMEN CarrieinSK!!!!!

Its very sad they do that, I use to be able to do a lot for my family when I was younger but I can honestly say it has never been returned in the same way,I dont feel my sisters really beleive and its sad because thats the support a lot of us need in our hearts but we get on with it anyway,
EileenG you just keep on living your life and do whatever it is that you do or dont do and just block out the negativety,,you have our support!!
Chris xx

I get the same thing from my family sometimes too, they just don't understand what we deal with on a day to day basis. my usual response is to tell them that I wish everyone in my life could hurt like I do 24/7 for at least one day, then they would get off my back and never say another negative thing to hurt my feelings again! this has been my biggest frustration due to the fact that before I got sick I did EVERYTHING for my family. I worked 40 hours a week in an office dealing with jackasses all day, came home cooked a hot meal, worked in the garden, did yard work, took my kids to practice, did laundry, ran errands, etc. etc.. I know you all know what I am talking about. it has been a BIG adjustment for my husband and my kids and it is hard for them to see how bad I hurt and how helpless they really are to do anything about it. I am on enough narcotic pain medications to kill a horse and STILL hurt ALL the time. I too wish my house was cleaner and I actually miss working and being so active. I didn't ask for this and I dang sure don't ask for or appreciate anyone criticising me for what I am no longer able to do. keep your head up, we are here for you whenever you need a shoulder

Quite honestly, that is their problem. Do you have a doctor? Ask your sister to attend an appointment with you. You will have spoken to your doctor prior and explained how hurtful your family is being and how it is affecting your mental health. Let your doctor be the one to tell them about this horrible disease and that you are doing the best you can. Unseen diseases, and people who just do not get it, are the pits. And when it is family, it is worse. I, once had someone tell me, that depending on my older children to help out with the younger children was something that was not OK while I slept the day away. Like I had a choice! I know how difficult family can be, and it is worse, because sometimes we feel better than others, and then, it looks like some days we are faking, while some days things seem to go better. Then, everyone thinks we are crazy. What's crazy is this disease. It is unpredictable, maddening, and frightening, just to mention a couple of things. I want you to know I have been in your position, and it is no fun. Hope the doctor suggestion works. Some of my family, after many, many years feels it is still just whining and complaining. A couple years ago when we took grandchildren to Disney, I needed a mobile wheelchair. And a sister-in-law chastised me saying, I should leave those for the truly disabled. It just has to roll off one's back. Pray for them, they need it worse than you do!

Oh dear sorry you are having a rough time.I have been there and still am.Its almost like this disease is not a real illness to most.Not a respectful one anyway.I often wish I had something that they could see and understand for a change.Tired of being told to suck it up and do more all the time.Even my church family treats me this way.Most times it rolls off my back but not all the time for sure.Would like to curl up in a ball and hibrenate for a long time.All you can do is try to educate them and if they don't want to except that well i just give up on them. god bless and try taking them along with you to DRs. I never tried that but maybe I should of. marilyn

My sister-in-law is just like your sister. She really hurt my feelings when she told me: "If I wasn't working , and I were you, this house would be spotless!" I was speechless, and made a feeble attempt at telling her I wasn't feeling well, and thats why my house was messy. Not dirty, just messy.

One of my friends told me I should have told her to:'Grab the broom and mop and help me out". I'm sure that would have shut her up real fast!

I'm with you. My house is a MESS!!
It's hard not to take it personally...but how do you not become defensive when any conversation begins with: "Don't be offended"...

My thoughts are with you and your family. A great big hug to you.

XOXO
~S