Fibromyalgia Support Group
You're not alone in your pain. Fibromyalgia is a condition that can be difficult to diagnose and manage. If you're trying to cope with pain throughout your body, sleep problems, general fatigue, or other common fibromyalgia symptoms, you're in the right place. The community is here for you to talk about therapies and share your challenges.
I know this is off topic, but I need some advice from others who know what we deal with on a daily basis with fm. I have fibromyalgia and vulvodynia. I joined a dating site a while back and started dating a guy that I met through this site, he was fine with the fm but as soon as he found out about the vulvodynia that was the end of the relationship. My membership has not ended yet from this site and I have other men who want to communicate with me, but I am unsure whether I should respond or not. I am currently seeing a doctor for the fm and vulvodynia and will be starting a course of treatment right after New Years, but am wondering if it even makes sense to try and pursue a relationship with someone right now, not knowing if the treatment will be a success or not and how long it will take. Should I just put that part of my life on hold right now and wait to see if things get better for me or should I try to see if I can find a guy who is willing to deal with all my ailments. Is there actually a man out there who would even be able to accept me with (especially vulvodynia) and the fibro. I just don't know? I'm 31, not getting any younger and really tired of being alone, while everyone else I know has a boyfriend or is already married. It's hard enough to find a nice guy today and having these illnesses makes it even harder and more stressful. Sorry for the rantings but I'm just very frustrated and confused at the moment. Any advice would be helpful.
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I gave my 2 week notice last Friday 13th. Now to join you fine people in a life of leisure and nothing else to do but to look out for myself....is it just me or does that sound pretty boring? My goal was to live to retire and I guess having to take early retirement because of health reasons wasn't exactly the way I had planned things. I just can't stay in that building that is reeking mildew...
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
If he took off as soon as he found out about the vulvodynia......good for you. That's not the type of guy you want anyhow. I don't know where they are, but there are men who understand. My husband of 18 years (i'm 38 and he's 40) has come to understand that the fibro absolutely wears me out and I just don't have or can't find the "romance" bug :) Does he like it? Of course not, but he does not make me feel guilty for it. We snuggle together, watch movies, hold hands and kiss but it is few and far between if "anything" else happens. I have never had a libido to speak of and it's even less now. My new meds (xyrem) is helping with my fatigue, but I have an awful lot of catching up to do when it comes to sleep, but I have hope that I will catch up and my marriage can somewhat be normal where intimacy is concerned. I have a lot of pain from the fibro but the fatigue has been much worse for me.
I don't know if you should continue in trying to find a relationship. Only you know how you feel. If I were single and going through all that I go through with this condition I am sure I would wait, but that's me.
I wish you all the luck in the world,
Bobbi
Having said that, there are dating sites for people with diabilties - that might be an option. Google dating sites disabiity to find some.
One last thing - being alone is much, much better than being with the wrong person. Relax and enjoy the experience of meeting new people. When the right person comes along, it will feel right to both of you.
I agree with Imstime that you "dodged a bullet" when this guy you spoke of ended it.
Sex is, or can be, a wonderful part of a relationship, but not always necessary. There are other ways to enjoy great intimacy with another person, companionship, friendship, and at times a sense of wholeness.
I worked all of last year in a pharmacy and was quite surprised at the amount of men that had RX's to achieve their "full potential". A great deal of these men were young, compared to what I thought of as an older man situation. I was wrong. Plus in most times insurance didn't cover it so they had to pay themselves. The RX is expensive. That makes me wonder how many men go without it due to the cost and men who might not even desire a full sexual relationship.
Again like Imstime said, I wouldn't give up dating, but I wouldn't share your personal information right away. I know nothing about on-line dating, but PeaceN2you has a great suggestion also. Don't give up trying, there are wonderful men out there. After a couple of bad marriages, I found a good man. I hope the same will happen for you.
Do what you feel is right for you Just look at it as having fun that he doesn't have to be Mr Right just someone you enjoy spending time with. I'm not sure who it was that told me but they said that more and more couples are going for the platonic relationship instead of sex I don't know how true that is.
but don't give up. there is someone for you. it might take a little rooting out of the bad weeds, but you'll get there. and he'll understand everything about you, and will be patient with you. because if a man takes off just because of your vulvodynia....then he's not a real man.
They never wanted me before, they most certainly dont want me now that I am broken.
I do know that God works things out for the good. So for my circumstance, God will either bring someone to me who actually thinks with the head on his shoulders, OR He will teach me to accept being alone for the rest of my life.
People in general are very for the here and now, and tend to also only want the FUN of a relationship, but not the hard work.
That is the very reason folks all of a sudden hate a person they were involved with when a pregnancy enters the picture. The relationship stopped being fun so folks lose interest. That is why I have a major hard time with trusting people. What you see when you meet them, chances are, that is not them, but merely their representative that looks like them.
God is my man. Unlike humans, he is not fascinated by what is in my clothes as he MADE what is inside my clothes.
I can relate 100 percent about being tired of being alone believe me.
I just feel like at this point in my life, I don't need the added stress of someone "depending" on me.
Such as: Depending on my to show up for a date, not forget, not be late. or just not able to make it because of fibro.
I don't care how patient and understanding a female is. As much as they would deny it, I know they will get their feelings hurt when I let them down "one too many times" because of fibro!