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Can I cry a lil?

I know this isn't fibro related but can I cry to all my friends here for just a moment.
It just sunk in.
Tried texting my mom.. She changed her number. Tried my sister and her number is changed as well. And it just hit me.
I thought being angry would help me.. And I got really angry. But today I'm done. I didn't get a call when they left the country to go to Cuba and that hurt but this? I can't deal with this.
I know I'm a screwup to their beliefs but this is a tad overkill. They truly believe that by shutting me out ill come back. But I am so hurt.. I don't know what to do.
Please pray.. That's all I've got left in me. There's no fight anymore. I feel like a dog in a corner. Kicked to where I'm only a shell of what I used to be

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

I'm so sorry . You haven't done anything wrong , please tell your self that . It is them and trying to figure out their actions will not get you any where . What they did was beyond mean . and to do it takes a heartless person . You are better than them in the fact you wouldn't do it to them . So instead of spiraling down beating your self up look at it like I said , and give it time . Don't make any more attempts to contact them or chase them , they will contact you when they see your strength . Pass it off and go on . your a wonderful person they are not .
deleted_user
deleted_user

I left my husband. 3.5 years ago and they've never forgiven me for it. I reach out periodically and then this happened. I know I don't deserve it but I'm beyond hurt.
I get made fun of everyday at work.. I know I mess up. I don't know if its fibro fog or just bad memory but I mess up lots.
That on top of being a single mom an working more than full time and not having anyone to turn to is too much
PeaceN2You
PeaceN2You

I was in the same situation when I left my husband. My family loved him and I never confided in them about the problems because at the time I didn't want them to think badly of him. When the time came that I needed their help and told them the truth, they didn't believe me.

I wish I could say it got better but it didn't. I just had to move on and build a new life without them. It still hurts and tears sting my eyes as I write this.

The best I can offer is that I understand.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Thank you peace.. I am crying for the first time in the years I been gone.. I'm just not doing well today
deleted_user
deleted_user

You have all of us to turn to.
Don't waste your precious energy on anger or hurt - take that energy and spend it on yourself and your children. That is a choice you can make.
The more anger you feel relates to the more power you give them. They don't deserve it - don't give them any power they are not worth it!!!
We are here for you. You are doing your best, and you need to give yourself credit for that!!
I pray that you find comfort in knowing you are not a shell, you are worthwhile.
LeoX3
LeoX3

Families are a nightmare sometimes, and this is utterly rotten of them. I agree, just let them *go*. THey are not helping you in any sense by the sound of it, and why they would not believe you over the ex-hub is baffling to me. What, they never covered up hoping things would get better?! Nobody knows what someone i sreally like unless they live it, IMO, so Phooey on them.

YOu have enough to do and focus on. Have yourself a good long cry, and then feel all the hugs we are sending you, okay? You will get through this. And find people to turn to who do not use your need as a weapon.

Got a SIL who is into those kind of games, and believe me, if I ever needed a glass of water to douse a fire on my head, she'd make me kiss her a** for it first.... which interestingly enough makes me more inclined to kick it....So I will lend you some of my ROAR along with thsoe hugs:-)

Wishing you best cuz you earned it,
Leo
deleted_user
deleted_user

Thanks gals. I know I shouldn't even cry for them. I knew when I left that I was leaving them for good. But me and my mom were on somewhat speaking terms. I thought so anyways.
I guess the reason it hurts is no matter what you're always going to want a mom. At least the story books make it sound like they would be supportive if they existed. I will take some roar today.. And maybe meow a lil. That's the best I can do. My three lil girls are coming home and they will find a strong mommy here
CarrieinSK
CarrieinSK

I agree with everyone here...

Take strength in your relationship with your children and be strong. They are worth it, your family isn't. It's okay to grieve as you have suffered a "loss". I have severed several toxic relationships and although I'm sad about it, know I'm better off in the long run. I have my close family and best friends to get me through things.

P.S. I mess up lots too...it's due to our impared cognitive brain function, not because we have a bad memory. ((((HUGS)))))))
skinnybinny
skinnybinny

Hugs Mary. I don't know what to say to comfort you. It's hurts terribly to be treated badly by the ones we love.
fibrolizzy
fibrolizzy

I agree with everyone that's written before me. You have suffered a loss and are entitled to grieve. How hurtful for a mother to do that to her daughter....I just can't understand it.

Just remember, as the others have said, that you are so very valuable to others and to your whole family here. We're here for you anytime. Our "phone number" is always the same, and it spells out L-O-V-E. We love our fibro sisters and brothers!

Many hugs and prayers...Elizabeth
deleted_user
deleted_user

Aww you're all gonna make me bawl again! Thank you so much! I knew I came to the right place.
Thank you all so much I love you all!!
Abotsd
Abotsd

Times do change, impossible as it may seem now. People change their thoughts and lives. I suppose your Mom can't handle the stress of a sick girl. I wish my mother could see how much better I am today. She died before I found a way to sleep (Xyrem) which has helped me live a better life. Hoping there's a window in heaven.

Nothing is over until the end. With life there is hope. Go on with your life and loving daughters, but don't be surprised if mother comes back into the picture some day.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Mary, I'm so sorry that they have hurt you like this...a good cry usually makes me feel better afterwards and it lets some of the bottled up anger and frustrations out so that you can pick yourself back up and be stronger from here on out. You can do this....HUGS from me to you....Tina@>--
RosePark
RosePark

Hugs to you, Mary!
OutsideSmile
OutsideSmile

Hi Mary, I'm a bit late in this conversation, but I wanted to tell you that a friend of mine decided years ago to cut all ties with her mother. She doesn't call her a "mom" and doesn't speak of her even as a "mother". I won't say what it is she DOES call her. This friend of mine has fibro as well and couldn't deal with the drama/mind games her mother played. So, she cut all ties. She is very happy with that decision and doesn't regret it because she had to think of her mental/physical well being and she has a son to care for.

You talked about how storybooks portray moms as always caring for her children and being supportive no matter what. Unfortunately, as you already know, reality sucks sometimes! But ya know, you can be the mom for your girls that you only wished you had for yourself.
:o) They will be blessed for that for sure. You have that wonderful opportunity to give them what you deserved but didn't get.

Also, if your family would "disown" you for leaving your marriage they don't have your best interest in mind. Families should want happiness and love for their loved ones. Plain and simple. So, just do whatever you feel is best for you and your girls. Be proud of the person and mom you've become, especially because you've done it without the support of family. :o)