I started to reply to Quattera's post, "One for all of us". I started writing a reply, and when I finished, I realized I wrote a novel, and maybe I should start my own thread instead of hijacking hers. lol I don't know, her thread really hit me, and opened the flood gates of frustration that I feel towards doctors & people in my own life. So....here's what I wrote in response to her. By the way Quattera, way to go on replying to her! I probably would've kept quiet & just stewed about it, but your response was much more productive. Maybe she'll think twice next time before saying something like that! :)

I have to agree with what Vonny said. If these medical "professionals" would actually REALLY look at us & listen to us, they would see & hear the pain. My MIL can take one look at me & ask me if I'm having a headache, or do I not feel good? The first time she asked me that, it kind of shocked me because I hadn't said a thing & I asked her how she could tell...she said she could see it in my eyes. Since then, I've tried looking at peoples eyes more; it's not something I normally do really. But I found that if you do really look at a person's eyes, you can see how they're feeling. You can see the glassy look, you can see the pain, and/or the dilation of pupils. Eyes really can be very telling. And if you listen closely enough, you can hear the pain in a person's voice. It puts a certain strain to their voice, they often speak quieter b/c their head hurts so bad, there are so many cues if you just really look & listen to a person. I had a doctor do this to me just recently, and I walked out of his office feeling so much better simply b/c he really did listen & take note of what I was saying & how I said it.

This is all stuff that I NEVER thought of doing before, that I never really realized you could do, before I got this. But now, I do look & I do listen to people. Most people also tend to underestimate their pain to people, even to doctors. We don't want to admit how badly we feel. We don't want to see that look on people's faces, where you know they're sitting there thinking, there she goes, exaggerating again. I've looked at myself in the mirror before when I felt horrible, I REALLY looked at my face, and I was surprised to see the difference in my eyes, in my facial expression. How can a person look like that, and others NOT notice how badly they feel? I'm finally at a point where I don't care what people think anymore, I'm going to admit when my pain is at an 8, instead of just saying maybe a 5. I'm gonna tell my people NO, I just can't do it today, I feel horrible. That's the hard part. I hate to ask people for help, and I hate to admit weakness of any kind. Don't know why, but I do. I'm working on it though, because how can others help me, if I'm not honest with them?? Anyways, I'm amazed at how much I wrote in response to one simple post, but thought I'd put it all out there, if for no other reason than to maybe, make someone think about it. Make them realize they don't have to suffer in silence any longer.