Third day of my flare up, and since my sister's husband is out of town, I have plans to go over to her house (her husband is a jerk and I don't even like to be around him). Anyway, I knew that in order to even function I had to take the Adderall sitting in my med drawer only taken once before. Basically, it's like speed really. Never got into that even in the wild 70's. Well, anyway, I'm sitting here thinking to myself,"what the heck kind of life is this??" No one possibly can understand unless they have this. I tell my sister about it, and she doesn't have a clue. I know this kind of thinking is destructive considering that the flare up brings plenty of depression in itself. I would never do anything to end my life, since I have two children that I would never do that to. Also, I do believe that God is there, even though I feel he's left me alone. Without my belief in Him, I honestly, couldn't stand to live another day in this futile life, in what would be a completely meaningless world, where life would come down to "quality" and that's it. I'm sorry everyone who is reading this. I don't mean to bring you down with me, I'm just reaching out to the only people who understand. It's a lonely life with fibro. So I'm sending this into cyberspace hoping that you all are having a better day than I:).
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