
Female Sexual Issues Support Group
Sexual dysfunction or sexual malfunction is difficulty during any stage of the sexual act (which includes desire, arousal, orgasm, and resolution) that prevents the individual or couple from enjoying sexual activity. Sexual dysfunction disorders are generally classified into four categories: sexual desire disorders, sexual arousal disorders, orgasm disorders, and sexual...

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does anybody get sad, love the partner so much, but sex is boring, lousy... whatever? I love hubby very much, would do anything for him but now i feel like i don't even want to. he is so lazy in bed, instead of trying to make love to me he justt says, "i have a big sausage, want to sit on it?" no foreplay, no making me feel special... I tried to explain to him a hundred times - if you want to bake bread you have to preheat the oven, and he says "I am so stressed about money, once I get out of debt I'll feel better and then I'll be better at it" or "you knew i wasn't romantic when you married me" which is fine, I don't need flowers andd romance, maybe just a little kissing rubbing, oral... he doesn't want to do it. any advice?
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The short answer is, when he asks you if you want to sit on his big sausage, is 'Nope.'
He's acting extremely selfish and uncaring. If you have talked to him at length about this, and nothing has changed, save your breath. Unless it's something new that you have to say. Why SHOULD he change? He keeps getting his way.
If it was me, when he wanted sex, I'd say 'I need sex too, and it hurts me that you are unwilling to give me the same pleasure that you want. The way you feel right now is just how I feel when I want sex and you refuse to satisfy me at those times.
Love and sex are 2 way streets and I'm no longer willing to have it any other way. When you show me that you love me by satisfying me, then I will love to and be more than happy to show you the same.'
And I wouldn't do this in an angry way, either. Just calmly and matter of factly.
And I would refuse to discuss it any further, if he started to argue about it. I'd tell him that what you have just said is what you need and have a right to expect and that he should let you know if and when he changes his mind about his part in your pleasure and that you want him to do it lovingly and not in a resentful way, as though he's doing you a favor.
And I wouldn't have sex with him unless he did so.
I was in your situation at one time and sex was not just unsatisfying; it was an experience that left me sad and hurt. Even as it was happening. That is NOT what sex is supposed to be.
Good luck!!! I hope things get better for you soon!! True intimacy is what marriage is all about.
Well, in light of your second post, I think that you should go into marital counseling. There's something else going on here. Deeper issues. 'Battles of wills' are never good in a marriage.
Good luck!!! I hope you guys work your problems out!!!
Take care!!!
I have had a really hard time because he was my best friend. It was hard to walk away and it's been even harder to really let go.
However, like Carla said, marriage is about intimacy. A marriage therapist said to me "the only thing you get from your husband/wife that you can't get anywhere else is physical intimacy". I decided that I didn't want to live that way anymore.
On the bright side, I'm having the best sex of my life with my new boyfriend.
I'm not saying leave, just sharing my story.
untill the lights went off... and i got into bed naked! i mean come one now.. what guy is just going to sleep with a women next to him naked and horney...
and might i say my plan worked wonders! the sex was GREAT!