I totally went through this in my late 30's, early 40's....hubby was slowing down, and I was revving up...spent a lot of nights lying awake sexually frustrated...it sucks. I guess this is where masturbation comes in....The ideal combination could be a 20 yr old man and a 40 yr old woman LOL....sexually, that is....so....what you are going through is normal and quite common.

I completley understand what you are going through. When I was in my 20's and early 30's and raising babies, all I wanted to do was sleep, but I always took care of him even if it was just another chore on my to do list. Now that the kids are old enough to occupy themselves, he is approaching 50 and happy to stick to Saturday night! Imagine my suprise when I opened his email and discovered that he had joined a Russian dating service! After reading some of the letters he had sent out, I of course thought he must be cheating on me. After throughly reserching all his correspondence, email, cell phone bills, credit card records, (and lots of time spent in the infidelity support group)I decided to give him the benifit of the doubt that it had all been just writing and he hadn't actually had sex with anyone. We started emailing each other, something we had never done in 20 years together and just talking to each other. I still couldn't get those letters off my mind. He obviously was looking for something from those women. One night after a couple of glasses of wine, I decided to write him a sexy letter. He was completely blown away. We have been writing each other several time a day and besides having sex more times this week than we have had in the last two months, he is acting like we are newly dating. Sneaking kisses in the hallway and complimenting me. I came home from work yesterday to find a box of things from Xandria.com waiting on the doorstep. Maybey your hubby just needs to have his intrest revved up a bit. Try telling him you will take care of it yourself.

Thanks for the comments and support. Good to know that I am not alone in this. Oddly enough, the women that I know IRL and trust enough to talk to about this say things like "you mean to say that he finally lets you sleep now and that's a problem?" They either don't get it or are not comfortable talking in this manner, I'm not sure which.

So far as my honey is concerned, I do believe that he is trying. He is 13 years older than myself with a few medical problems (working on these with his doctor) and these problems take a toll in the sex department. That end is going a bit better though. Thanks Debra Marie for the 'rev up' ideas....in fact, that was sort of what I had in mind as well. You see, after my original post I started ordering small things such as those that you mentioned as well. One or two small items every day (pretty cami & undies sets, nightie, and so on). By ordering every day I was thinking that the items would slowly start to trickle in and before long, he'll be wondering what's in Today's package!

And de101....I think you might just be right with the age ratio, sexually at least! Lol! But, since I can't make my honey 20 again, I have gone more towards the masturbation in that if it doesn't look like things are going to work out, I make sure that he knows that I can take care of it so that he doesn't feel so much pressure to perform. Maybe that will help also. And bless his soul, he seems to enjoy the view! : )

I was sorry to read about your honey and that Russian Dating service Debra. I have tried to teach my hubsand quit a few times how to use the computer, but he just never caught on. I guess I don't think his computer illiteracy to be a problem anymore. In looking around the site, I know that there are all sorts of individuals with all sorts of things happening in this arena and I am actually a really lucky girl! My sweet husband has always been the kind of guy to kiss my goodbye and hello again when he comes home (with meaning) and little kisses and touches as we cross each other's path in the home. All little sweet nothings which add up to the conveyance of much love, for which I am thankful.

I do know what you mean. I think it is hormonal, but I can't get enough, even though he can. I think that is why so many women my age take much younger lovers. Not that I would, but.....