Female Sexual Issues Support Group

Sexual dysfunction or sexual malfunction is difficulty during any stage of the sexual act (which includes desire, arousal, orgasm, and resolution) that prevents the individual or couple from enjoying sexual activity. Sexual dysfunction disorders are generally classified into four categories: sexual desire disorders, sexual arousal disorders, orgasm disorders, and sexual...

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deleted_user 12/01/2007

First off, I'm most definitely straight.

But...I can't stand looking at that *certain male part* Hell, I can't even hardly say the word. I don't like giving a blowjob, or a handjob for that matter. For the most part I enjoy sex...although many times after it's over I feel horrible. At that point I usually don't want to be touched, and don't even want to be around the guy. This always happens when it's jsut casual sex, but it does happen even when I'm with someone I care about.

Also...I'm a borderline who self-injures, both of which are supposed to be indicators of someone who's been sexually abused. I don't have any memories of ever being abused, but this in combination with all my hangups about sex is really starting to make me wonder.

I have no idea how to figure out if this happened or not. But even if it didn't, I don't know how to get over all these issues...practice sure isn't making perfect.

Marah 12/01/2007

I strongly suggest you get some counseling. Especially for the self injury. If you think the two things are related, they probably are.

CarlaBentley 12/01/2007

I think you should get into counseling. If you do decide to go that route, make sure that you feel that you and your therapist are a good 'fit'. Crappy therapy is a waste of time, at best. Good therapy is wonderful and often needn't drag on and on for ages. Sometimes, only a few sessions do the trick.
Self injuring is very common amongst sexually abused people, but it's by no means the only cause. Sometimes, it's a result of having been brought up in a home where angry feelings were discouraged and/or neglect, whether physical or emotional took place. Or for other reasons.
Perhaps your being a borderline and self injurer is tied to your current sexual difficulties (in fact, it's probably likely) but then again, perhaps not.
Therapy is good for sorting pit this kind of stuff!!
Good luck!!

deleted_user 12/01/2007

i have very sketchy memories of sexual abuse. As soon as i remembered them i stuffed them right back where they came from for most of my life. every so often i remember something,...and dismiss it....forget it again on purpose....this time i'm not gonna do it... i need to straighten my life out. i hope it's somehow helpful to know...

i'm told there are lots of things that can be done to clarify these things in therapy. Try and find a therapist who specializes in sexual abuse and see how it goes? Some are better then other i hear, so take your time. Best case scenario is that you will know one way or the other.
I'm sorry your going through this =/ it's just a horrible feeling. *hugz* but your not alone

deleted_user 12/01/2007

I think u should go for therapy, but boy when it comes to sex and many other things many people have some issues or hangups. You would be surprised how many.

deleted_user 12/02/2007

First off, there's nothing "wrong" with you. in fact, under the circumstances you're probably responding in a "normal" or typical way. Within only a few quality hypnotherapy sessions among other techniques, there's something called "affect bridge". Under guidance, you can actually go back to whenever your initial sensitizing event occured. It could be something your own conscious mind has forgotten about or it could be a time before your memories. A qualified hypnotherapist can gently bring it out and be able to neutralize both that initial as well as any subsequent sensitizing events. You truly don't have to live with that pain and it's effects on your behavior. I hope this helps you.

deleted_user 12/11/2007

Im also have BPD and i also have a very hard time after sex, I start to cry and can't be touched, i've been with my b/f for 3 years and he thinks its him but its me, i don't know why that happens, maybe you don't remember because you blocked it out of your head, sometimes that happens...have you talked to a therapist about this"?

deleted_user 12/12/2007

Thanks for all the comments; I did bring this up briefly to my therapist, but haven't really gotten too far into it yet. It's a hard thing to talk about, but I suppose I have to.

deleted_user 12/13/2007

u situation kinda sounds like mine---i freeze up when it comes to anything sexually--even the emotional connection...and i 2 am begining to wonder if i was ever sexually abused--but just have no recollection of it....i wish u the best finding answers

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