
Female Sexual Issues Support Group
Sexual dysfunction or sexual malfunction is difficulty during any stage of the sexual act (which includes desire, arousal, orgasm, and resolution) that prevents the individual or couple from enjoying sexual activity. Sexual dysfunction disorders are generally classified into four categories: sexual desire disorders, sexual arousal disorders, orgasm disorders, and sexual...
My advice to William is... well, let me just start by saying that I don't think lack of sex is the number 1 issue in your marriage. I hope I'm not overstepping here because I don't know you, but from what you've said it seems like you are feeling invalidated. That you think your partner doesn't care about what you are feeling and thinking. If I were you, before you take the drastic measure of having an affair, I would have a conversation with your partner about that. Don't even mention sex. Its not about sex. Just tell her that you are feeling invalidated in your relationship because she seems to not care about your feelings. Then segway into that you want to talk about sex, still remembering that this is a conversation about the two of you not being able to communicate and not about sex.
Also remember she's probably only acting this way because of her own insecurities about sex. She probably feels like she's letting you down. Or, at worst, she probably feels like you just don't understand what she's going through. I know its hard. And I wish you luck.
*hugs*
But obviously every situation is different, that wouldn't be the right advice for everyone.
(Speaking in the general, generic sense here, not specific to you and your partner.)
Let me ask Janeyjane this - would you be ok if your husband said, in effect, "ok, I respect your desire not to have sex anymore. Do you mind if I get that elsewhere"? If so, then at least you're being fair about it. If not, then you are saying, "you should want what I want or at least be ok enough to shut down your sexual desire for the rest of your life".
If my wife or girlfriend told me that, I'd say, "let's get into therapy, please!" If she said, "no" I'd say, "we are not going to make it". You're 36. Assuming your husband is around the same age, he has decades of healthy sex ahead of him. To deprive a spouse that? I vote, unfair and, moreover, unworkable longterm.
thanks guys