raped 6 yrs ago...haven't been physical with anyone since then. When I get to know a guy..I wait awhile before telling them "my story", I hope that they like me enough by then to understand. I haven't met a guy that hasn't bolted from the uncomfortable subject matter, beleive me its not discussed over dinner on the first date. I like any phyiscal contact at all. In fact when it comes to yearly exams..I usually will take versed, a (sedative)prior to the exam. The only time I feel comfortable with physical contact, sex, hugging, holding, etc. you get the idea is when I'm dreaming. After everything I have been through, I deserve to be taken care of for once...understood, held, hugged, and made love to, even if it takes awhile for me to get to that point. I know that for some of you the advice would be to start self gratification...but my attacker kind of ruined that for me...I don't feel comfortable even with those acts if you will of self kindness. Please...I'm really tired of living this way...Please just tell me that there is a guy that will help me get to something similar to the way my life use to be. I want to feel human again. If you guys have any insight at all..PLEASE let me know!!!
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