Female Sexual Issues Support Group

Sexual dysfunction or sexual malfunction is difficulty during any stage of the sexual act (which includes desire, arousal, orgasm, and resolution) that prevents the individual or couple from enjoying sexual activity. Sexual dysfunction disorders are generally classified into four categories: sexual desire disorders, sexual arousal disorders, orgasm disorders, and sexual...

937 Members
1,767 Posts
1 Online
Women's Health
/ Female Sexual Issues Support Group

Fantasising about cheating...

deleted_user
deleted_user
I've been with my partner for about 17 months. We moved in together after only 3 months. At first our sex life was great but it soon dwindled and now we rarely be intimate and I only do it to please him. Throughout it I'm just waiting for it to be over so I can sleep. This is really hard for me to be so honest about my relationship but I don't know where else to turn.
I never fantasise about my partner. If I am getting turned on usually it's about someone I have noticed and feel an attraction for. A lot of the time it's someone of the same sex (as I'm bi-sexual). I do find my partner very attractive and do enjoy being in a relationship with him, I just find myself sometimes feeling 'locked in' when it comes to exploring my sexuality and sexual adventures. I did have a period of about 5 years where I casually dated and had a lot of fun and I really thought I had gotten it out of my system when I decided to have a longterm relationship. Does anyone else feel this way or have experienced these issues? I really don't want to feel like I'm alone on this one.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Hi. el here, just finished chating to you, just want to say you are not alone. I in the past and not to long ago have had same sex relations, even being with my partner now, who knows about it, my best friend and i would often have a few drinks and leave him behind and go of for the night, I don't get to c her much now due to a new guy in her life, but I know the struggle that goes on inside your head. It is only natural as far as i am concerned to be attracted to women, Any way will chat to you more if you want one on one another time, just know I have experienced all of the above, & I thoink I am pretty normal:) cheers el
deleted_user
deleted_user
you're not alone mate - i feel the same way sometimes! i just wish my hubby would be more adventureous - a bit of oral would be nice - i mean, i give it to him VERY regularly and think i deserve something back. being with another women excites me, but i don't think i'll go there again while i am married.
deleted_user
deleted_user
hi i fantaize all the time like you i am bi but lucky for me my partner allows me to have sex with the same sex but i still fanaize about other men its not like im cheating when i think of these men and aslong as hes enjoying himself theres no harm done x x x
deleted_user
deleted_user
I always enjoy the sex at first and it dwindles quickly. My boyfriend moved in with me after only several weeks of dating. We went from having sex 3-5 times a day to maybe 2 times a month. I sometimes fantasize about other men but in reality I don't think I could imagine actually cheating on him. It's not in my nature. I find my partner attractive though I wish he had a nicer body. It gets so frustrating at times. Though I don't miss the single life I had because most of the one night stands left me with a broken heart. You're not alone in this.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm engaged and I masterbate when I'm aroused. Most of the time it's not him I get off to. I have cheated before but now I know better and it's not worth an orgasm. You have to make a choice. Either talk to him about changing your approach on sex. What this means is make it more spontaneous or hold off on sex for a while and let it build up. During that time turn each other on and let him know what turns you on. Make it kinky... good luck I hope I helped
deleted_user
deleted_user
i have been wondering a lot of the same things about bi-sexuality
i worry that it has to do with my distrust of men b/c of past experiences, and distrust of women b/c of past experiences. lol
in any case, my long-term partner and i were in a monogamous relationship and, he wouldn't agree to me getting a girlfriend unless she was willing to be intimate with him as well. i didn't like the idea so i gave up on the thought.

then a girl started dropping hint's at me and...well. . . omgs i might have a crush on a girl??? i dunno how i feel about it....maybe i'm just confused
but your not alone on that one! by far...
deleted_user
deleted_user
i am in your situation right now i have boy friend of 3 and half years and after so long and being ill my sex drive went down and down

i also like the whole chase of one night stands and fantasize about that all the time i flirt with everything that moves but i am always honest with my boyfriend as i dont think it would be fair to keep this from him and if i can flirt so can he i think everything in a relationship should be equal

when i was single all i wanted was to be in a relationship and now in a relationship all i have wanted was to get around abit
i keep thinking just one last sexy time meeting with a random fitty to get it out of my system but my oyfreind is not worth losng for a it of sexy time so i just keep on going

i do have one question thou - if you do feel like this when u have been with some one for this long is it right? is this a sign saying he isant the one or is the grass always greener?!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Vesty, in regards to your last question, I don't think it necessarily means you are with the wrong person. If there were sparks in the beginning and then dwindled, I think it has more to do with growing bored or old with the relationship. I say this because I have had married men come on to me in the past. I don't accept, it's not something I agree with, but when I hear what they are telling me it's often about how much they love their partner but miss the thrill that came with a new relationship. One man who told me this has been married about 7 years while he and his wife had actually been partners now for about 20 years. I guess that's why there's couples counseling out there. If there were doubts about the partner's ability to meet your desires in the beginning of the relationship then it's possible that the grass is greener out there.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I fantasize about cheating on my husband evey day

Not only is he boring but he seldom wants sex and I want it all the time

I worry that if this keeps up I will act on my fanatsies.
I must admit a part of me really wants to
deleted_user
deleted_user
There is nothing wrong with fantasies its when one tries to make them reality that the sharp edges of real life cut deepest SSSSSSSSSSS
deleted_user
deleted_user
your not alone me i dont fan. about outhers i like but i fan. about the people that i know that my husband like or i know he wants to be with wich i feel sick for doing im so scared that hes cheating that while im playing with myself or with him i amgine that im seeing him do the crime so belive me your not alone.
Posts You May Be Interested In
  • irishwriter

    come unwind in the bp lounge

    Posted by: irishwriter
    Last Reply: irishwriter
    7916
    theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
  • Rizen

    Walk a Day

    Posted by: Rizen
    Last Reply: mujicaptsd
    1894
    I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...