Okay...My job is very hard and can be stressful at times to say the least!! I lost a Boy the other day...I tried my best..but he still died. When I got home...I just wanted to crawl in a whole...I had one drink...and then relized that I just wanted to find any man around...and I just wanted to touch him...everywhere...just explore..the body so to speak....I just cried and cried...I could almost feel being held!!!...but it was just dream...an empty one at that...I don't know what I should do...work is getting harder and harder....longer hours no breaks...kind of like the TV show..ha!!! It is true you will do anything to feel good after the traumas you see...I just want someone to take the time to touch my hand and say your going to be okay...I feel like I'm not making it...the only control I have is my critical thinking....but that isn't helping when your losing your patients..I could only hear the mother crying....help.
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I gave my 2 week notice last Friday 13th. Now to join you fine people in a life of leisure and nothing else to do but to look out for myself....is it just me or does that sound pretty boring? My goal was to live to retire and I guess having to take early retirement because of health reasons wasn't exactly the way I had planned things. I just can't stay in that building that is reeking mildew...