I know this question has been posted at least once...but I am always trying to find a reason for my fear of intimacy...why it is so hard to let a guy get close to me both sexually and emotionally--and i always wondered if i was sexually abused as a child--but i just don't remember any abuse---but then it could just be my mind roominating becuase of all the public awareness of sexual child abuse---but the other day i remembered a dream more so a nitemare i had as a little kid i was probally about 5 or 6 and i remember in my dream i was in my parents room in the corner by their dresser and captain hook stuck his sword up my vaginia--and it hit me---where would that come from--how could i have thought that up in my sleep at that age---it is a dream that i remember after all these years because i remember it so vidily...i may just be roominating again---and i may just be seeking an answer as to why i have a fear of intimacy, but--remembering the dream--just made me wonder---i have searched my memory trying to remember anything---and the only thing i remember is when i was little i was afraid of male doctors--i even remember my parents telling the story of when i was in the hospital and saying "no more boy doctors"---maby there is no rhyme or reason--maybe i have just always been hesitant with men---i guess i am just wondering where it all began
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