Female Sexual Issues Support Group

Sexual dysfunction or sexual malfunction is difficulty during any stage of the sexual act (which includes desire, arousal, orgasm, and resolution) that prevents the individual or couple from enjoying sexual activity. Sexual dysfunction disorders are generally classified into four categories: sexual desire disorders, sexual arousal disorders, orgasm disorders, and sexual...

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cdd.....please help....any advice would be great

deleted_user
deleted_user
i am so new here, so i hope i dont scare anyone away. my husband and i have been together for 18 years, married 9, we have always had problems, financially usually, has had a hard time holding on to jobs. tries his best but it does not always work out. i am a very strong minded person. say and do what ever i choose, and at times can be very hurtful when we have arguments. i have brought to his attention on many occasions, that i wanted to be in a domestic discipline relationship. and being that we are christians, i found out on line there is a thing called christian domestic discipline. it gave scriptures from the bible saying that you husband is you master and so on...i dont want this for kinky reasons. i want to be disciplined (spanked) for when i am bad. i want to be held accountable for my actions, i was very spoiled growing up, and it has moved with me as i get older. i spend money when ever i want, say things when ever i want, with no reprocussions, i want him to spank me to teach me lessons, i know they will hurt, horribly bad, but i feel i need them to keep me in line. when i brought it up to him, he was like, i dont want to hurt you and so on.... where not on the same page here and any advice will help. he has never ever hit me in a violent way, and im not looking for that, strictly spanking is what i need
Wilson
Wilson
According to the Bible the husband is supposed to be the head of the house but I don't think it means that he is supposed to rule the wife with an iron fist. I think they are partners in a marriage but he is accountable for her. I don't think he should hit or spank his wife. I think the wife should try to discipline herself, in your case, watch your spending and what you say. A marriage should be a loving relationship, not a ruling relationship.
Marah
Marah
Have you considered therapy? I mean, it seems like you are trying to justify what you want sexually by using the bible. Not unlike men who abuse their wives and use the Koran or the Bible as an excuse. If that is what you want sexually, you need to be honest about it.
ChicagoDave
ChicagoDave
You have issues. Its not uncommon for someone to want to be spanked - hey, whatever blows your hair back - but to try to justify it for real world behavior modification for an adult? I'm thinking, maybe "not so much". Talk this one out with a professional. Adults typically don't behave in a certain way because they fear physical pain from their spouse. Doesn't sound healthy, but hey, whatever works. Good luck with that.
deleted_user
deleted_user
thanks for all the input, ya know its weird, getting advice from complete strangers puts things into perspective, it does seem very drastic......thank you all so much for being honest and helpful...happy thanksgiving
CarlaBentley
CarlaBentley
Would you have a problem wanting it if it WAS for 'kinky reasons'?
Would you feel more sexually aroused within your relationahip if your husband spanked you (even if the sex did not occur at the same time as the spanking?)
If so, then maybe you have to accept that it IS a sexual issue with you.
If not, it's certainly not a very common practice as you present it. I don't know as it's fair to him to make him responsible for your actions. If you are really strong minded, you certainly won't need his aid, particularly in such a manner as spanking.
Since you are Christians, go to the head of your church for guidance in this matter.
Good luck!!!! I hope you find a way that is acceptable to both of you!!!!!
deleted_user
deleted_user
the more i think about it, when the thought of being spanked, it turns me on, so maybe its not so much a disicpline thing, maybe more erotic, god i thank god you guys dont know me, i hope u dont think i am crazy.so confused but please keep advice coming
deleted_user
deleted_user
I think that if it is something that you both enjoy, then go with it. there's no shame, for whatever reasons you have.
And who cares what we think =]

I personally find the above reason a lil disturbing as aposed to just plain kinkiness. But I'm not about to knock you for either...whatever makes it work for the both of you
ChicagoDave
ChicagoDave
It seems like you've had a discovery of self here, or something. Don't feel guilty or ashamed. You're married and what goes on between the two of you is fine. Make sure he knows he's not hurting you and that you find it pleasurable. And make sure he knows when to stop. He might be very reticent to start if he's never done this before, but once he sees you enjoying it, I'm betting there'll be some arousal from him as well. You might also consider posting your question in the Healthy Sex community. I've never been into what you describe, but my gf is, and we have wonderful role play sessions that we both enjoy. Don't stress - talk to hubby; go slow; enjoy.
CarlaBentley
CarlaBentley
I don't think you're crazy, either way!!
But I think you'll get more out of it if you can clarify to yourself what it is about it that appeals to you!!!
And the better you can explain it to your husband, the more likely it is that he'll want to accommodate you!!!
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