
Female Sexual Issues Support Group
Sexual dysfunction or sexual malfunction is difficulty during any stage of the sexual act (which includes desire, arousal, orgasm, and resolution) that prevents the individual or couple from enjoying sexual activity. Sexual dysfunction disorders are generally classified into four categories: sexual desire disorders, sexual arousal disorders, orgasm disorders, and sexual...

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another person on her jsut wrote a discussion about not feeling anything sexually down there after being in an abusive relationship and it got me thinking...
i cant really say i have been in an abusive relation ship really but a break down of my sexual life so far is as follows
lost it at 13 after going out with a guy for a year it was all nice and everything even thou we were young but split up soon after
then another year relationship with another guy and lots of sex which was good sex
then lots and lots of one night stands about 12 to be exact,,, oops once was kind of forced but i didnt say no loud enough and he took me down an ally way at 14yr old (he was 17 ) and fucked me then walked off and i was very niave to it all back then not understanding what happend i put it down to a one night stand and told others trying to show off and a guy i told just said 'great' sarcastically and walked off so then i felt like shit again. he also later on forced me to give him a bj making me choke etc but i kind of just gotover that
then a few awful one night stands and then some nice good ones then by 17 i thought i dont need to man and as life goes along came the partner i am still with now 3 and half years on but....
i, in the last few years have always seen sex as sex and love as love and these 2 things very different and not really connected at all
so now 3 and a half years on after the initial start i do not see sex as exciting at all and dont enjoy it - i try to please him but i have become very lazy in that department and i feel so bad on him as he is really trying with me but i cant be arsed and so what should i do
also i have never ever been able to come through sex, only through 'playing' could all this been down to my past sex experiences and what do i do - i dont feel like it affects me any more but maybe it does
what do i do, i try explaining this but he doesnt seem to understand and i do love him
help
i cant really say i have been in an abusive relation ship really but a break down of my sexual life so far is as follows
lost it at 13 after going out with a guy for a year it was all nice and everything even thou we were young but split up soon after
then another year relationship with another guy and lots of sex which was good sex
then lots and lots of one night stands about 12 to be exact,,, oops once was kind of forced but i didnt say no loud enough and he took me down an ally way at 14yr old (he was 17 ) and fucked me then walked off and i was very niave to it all back then not understanding what happend i put it down to a one night stand and told others trying to show off and a guy i told just said 'great' sarcastically and walked off so then i felt like shit again. he also later on forced me to give him a bj making me choke etc but i kind of just gotover that
then a few awful one night stands and then some nice good ones then by 17 i thought i dont need to man and as life goes along came the partner i am still with now 3 and half years on but....
i, in the last few years have always seen sex as sex and love as love and these 2 things very different and not really connected at all
so now 3 and a half years on after the initial start i do not see sex as exciting at all and dont enjoy it - i try to please him but i have become very lazy in that department and i feel so bad on him as he is really trying with me but i cant be arsed and so what should i do
also i have never ever been able to come through sex, only through 'playing' could all this been down to my past sex experiences and what do i do - i dont feel like it affects me any more but maybe it does
what do i do, i try explaining this but he doesnt seem to understand and i do love him
help
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i've never been single that long, and it's all very strange to me b/c normally i have an extremely high sex drive.
point being, you don't have to be raped to be effected by something.
secondly, i don't know the situation... but i think i would feel very differently about what happened in the alley. I know my past has had a serious effect on my sex life...
Have you tried talking about this in the sexual abuse community as well? there are some really smart and kind people there. Does your b/f know about your past?
i am part of that community so i think i will ask them too