I have recently messed up our finacial situation by being stupid. I took out some loans that are now all due at the same time, partly to cover bills and partly because wehn i gett in a very down and out mood overspending on stupid stuff make s me feel beter tempoarily. I am married to a wonderful man for almost 4 years now, my 1st marriage was a nightmare to a very verbally abusive person nad I have always had self esteem and depression due to things happening when I was a child.. But anyway, I thought I could cover these extra bills but began taking more out to pay for others along with house hold bills, did not tell hubby, now he knows and I understand is furious, but I know I did wrond and already feel like the lowest person on the earth, he works , i do not , because everything i could possibly make around here would go to daycre and gas for the car, hubby is a truck driver.. I now i messed up BIG TIME, and I have said I am sorry and I dont know what else to do, but he was home this weekend and made me feel lower tatn any piece of trash their is. I feel all alone and have no frinds to talk to. I know i should have talked to him and been open but i did not know how and did not want him mad , now he is and i am afraid i have lost him, i feel useless...He always hugs me and kisses me before he leaves out for the week, today i got hugged like you would a distant friend andumbled love you as he walked out the door, i wrote it down last night explaining how he made me feel like some truck stop hoe he would be around on the road, and I know he is mad but I dont feel him acting like this help me or him any, he then turns it around to make me sound like i am only caring about my feelings.. i dont know what to do and i hate these thoughts in my head,. i am a horrible wife, mother, and everything else......I tried to explain I have a depression problem and I know that i do I thought that might help himn understand why I dont even know why I did what i did.. I feel so alone
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