I've always struggled with depression...ever since I was in elementary school. Just like with everyone else, I'm sure, I have had my ups and downs. Recently I have found myself lower than I have ever been before. I met an incredible boy, and after awhile of a long distance relationship, I decided to move five hours away from home to live with him. At the time I was in a good place. I was ready to move away from where I grew up, broaden my horizons and learn more about myself. Well, things aren't going as well as I hoped. My boyfriend is a part of a rather successful band that travels nationally....a lot. So, this means I am home alone a lot. Socializing has never been my cup of tea...I've always been a group-of-really-close-friends person. I need friends that I can talk to about deeper things than gossip...about books, my struggles, their struggles, current events...and some gossip here and there ;) But anyway...going out and meeting people is extremely difficult for me...and now that I have spiraled down, I am so bitter and angry that I just make a fool of myself and look like a nasty bitch. I've recently started up therapy down here, and have found a new psychiatrist. We shall see what happens. I just wish I could catch a break...
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I'm feeling so lonely lately even though I've taken steps to be more social. I wish this evening I could get together with a good friend and we could sit at a cafe somewhere or at a diner and drink a nice cup of hot coffee together and chit chat. That would be so nice to have right now.