Family Issues Support Group

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What to do for Thanksgiving?

deleted_user
deleted_user
Every year, I go to my friend's house for Thanksgiving dinner early in the afternoon. They're like family to me and I love to be around them.

Then, in my nuclear family, all I have left is my two grown kids (parents are deceased) and big brother who lives 2 hours away and he usually spends Thanksgiving with his crew (he owns a plumbing company and his 6 guy workers are like his brothers) and my sister lives in CA with her family.

My 26 yr old daughter lives in NYC and won't be coming home this year for Thanksgiving. My 28 yr old son rents from me (I own 2 properties) and he has a drinking problem and doesn't ever pay rent on time. I've had to hire a property manager and that's made him mad. He and his gf usually always comes to my house for Thanksgiving, but they barely eat, drink two beers and then leave.

I hate the thought of not having ANY family to my home for Thanksgiving, but it doesn't seem like they even want to come.

So,.......any suggestions as how to do it this year?

Thank you!!
deleted_user
deleted_user
For the past 3 years we have forgone a traditional Thanksgiving dinner to volunteer in a homeless shelter. We have dinner with the homeless people...it's been a fantastic experience for our children. You may want to try this...we love it
deleted_user
deleted_user
Do what makes you happy and let the rest go...
If you'd be happy at your friend's home for the day; that is what you should do. It's clear, from your story that the only family member available to visit you is your addicted son and his gf and you certainly don't owe them your time or your thanks this year...
Make yourself happy!

Stephanie...has an excellent idea as well if you are in the spirit of being family (company) for those less fortunate than yourself this year!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I've worked in a homeless shelter for the last 6 years and have done that alot. It is great to do that:)
LindaJean
LindaJean
Yes I do have a suggestion - stay at your friend's longer and don't bother with having your son and his girlfriend to your home. If your son has a drinking problem, I can tell you from experience, he probably wants to be somewhere that he can drink the way he wants to drink, most particularly if he is angry about the prop manager. Until he wants to be there, which I assume would be the result of sobriety, I would make my own plans and let him be. Have a good Thanksgiving.
deleted_user
deleted_user
We used to go to my mother's for Thanksgiving. While she said she wanted us there, while we were there she really didn't interact and talk with us...it was not fun, not even that pleasant because her house is always really dirty. Then on top of it, she would get drunk enough to make us all feel awkward. My parents are divorced, my dad is the same way, call me up on the phone, be excited to invite us over, then once we were there, he would watch TV in the other room and play games on his god damn phone....I'm not saying this because I'm saying the problem is with you. Maybe sometimes, as in the case of my parents....they've gotten so used to the holiday, that the obligation and the events of these holidays have gotten repetative and stale. I know growing up, every damn xmas, my aunts would make the same crappy ass dishes to pass, and none of them could cook to save their lives.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Sorry, I didn't finish my thought...the boy side tracked me by throwing his jello at my head.....So I was meaning to say it would be nice if once in a while my aunts mixed it up, like found a NEW recipe to cook, or brought in a pinata, or bring in a dancing bear to entertain the family.....something to break the monotony of tradition, or at least spice thing up...that's what your family needs. Make some gift bags, or take them all to Denny's instead of making a big dinner at home, then you can focus your attention on them and have some quality time because nobody is in the kitchen scurrying to get dinner ready. I know it's good advice, I'm not even a paid professional advice giver! Let me know how goes it!
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