My grandfather was physically abused his whole childhood and then emotionally abused my mom and my aunt, along with his wife. He would tell them they were fat slobs and never good enough every day, and he would make them feel inadequit. Now my mom emotionally abuses my dad, telling him he's a horrible father and an alcoholic and should just leave. She also yells at us kids every day and bribes us into doing everything for her as she lays on the couch, watching TV. We get into huge screaming fights almost every week, and I swear at her and she swears back at me, telling me I have a mental disability and I should have been put up for adoption when she had the chance, and after, when we make up, she'll wait a while and then tell me my father hates me and wants to kick me out, which isn't true, but she wants to be on my good side. I admit, I have quite a temper, which scares my family and even me, because I can't remember the fights most of the time. My brother abuses our cats [he's 6] and throws them around the room, and hits everyone that comes near him, telling them they're retards and fat. My 11 yr old sister spends all her time with another family, pretending she doesn't know us, while she stops the two siblings in that family from throwing each other down the stairs. I'm afraid I might abuse my family when I'm older, and I don't want to. Also, I wish I had a new family but I'm scared to leave them because they're all I know. I don't know what to do with this family. My mom hoards everything, so our house is filled with her crap, making it a huge fire hazard and illegal. She blames it on us kids, who won't clean up, but she comes home from the Goodwill with bags of shit that she drops somewhere and yells at us for! I can't have friends over because of her mess and her yelling at me, and last year a girl invited everyone in our school except me to her party, and I wasn't invited because her father was afraid I'd contaminate their house. I want out, but I'm only fourteen. I considered suicide, but decided it wasn't the right way, and I want to run away, but I have nowhere to go. I need help!!!!
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