Family Issues Support Group

Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.

3,314 Members
5,562 Posts
4 Online
Relationships & Sexuality
/ Family Issues Support Group

value of telling them off

deleted_user
deleted_user
I keep hearing from people in my life that, since it seems that what my B does to me and to others (telling them off), that I should simply just get everything off my chest.

My therapist believes that it is an old theory, that there is no value in recreating pain by yelling at each other.

It seems to be of value in some popular media.

Does that help in any way, or does it simply continue the dysfunction?
deleted_user
deleted_user
Two wrongs don't make a right. Most disagreements, misunderstandings and grudges are due to miscommunication. When people are yelling they are dealing from their emotions, not their intellect which leads to more miscommunication and drama. I see no useful purpose in behaving badly.. none whatsoever.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I wrote my brother a poem. He's always acted like I was a waste of his time,so I chose to *finally* write how I felt about him,and how I've moved on from the dysfunctional interactions both my siblings continue to display with others.

I decided I had to do what was best for me,which was finally getting my feelings out and in a way saying goodbye. I knew I had to say what I needed(for my sake)as well as closing a dead relationship that I had always *hoped* would turn around!

At some point,you have to let go even if they are family. I'm with PF123 fighting it out just means you're both yelling from an emotional place. If you can't communicate without arguing,either send him a letter,email or other form of communication to open up dialogue.

From what I learned,most people are not ready for the type of genuine opening up process that we hope comes out of it all. Many want to hide the emotions/situations that are just too difficult for them to work through.

I don't hate my siblings,but in trying to communicate with both of them,feel that between one ignoring me completely,and the other insisting I violated her privacy and was out to "make her look bad",that I'm done trying once again to get close to others who insist I'm the messed up dysfunctional one.

Some things are better left alone. My latest lesson in trying to communicate with siblings.

Hugs,
deleted_user
deleted_user
choam2008-that really is how I feel. I've thought about writing a letter and saying let's do therapy (not unheard of in our family) but if not, consider this a sibling divorce. Divorce can be amicable, but just that we are clear we will not be working to improve our relationship.
deleted_user
deleted_user
choam2008-that really is how I feel. I've thought about writing a letter and saying let's do therapy (not unheard of in our family) but if not, consider this a sibling divorce. Divorce can be amicable, but just that we are clear we will not be working to improve our relationship.
Posts You May Be Interested In
  • joannklingaman

    Grief

    Posted by: joannklingaman
    Last Reply: MrsMorris
    9
    A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...
  • ainteasybeineazy

    It's my Birthday and no one cares

    Posted by: ainteasybeineazy
    Last Reply: Intentional33
    58
    Today is my 25th birthday, to my somewhat lack of surprise I can see already no one really seems to care. I've always been the kinda person to make sure that everyone I Care about feels appreciated and knew somebody had their back. I can count 4 times this year when I Went out of my way to make sure a "friend" felt good on their birthday, especially if they got left hanging. Its early in the...