I'm 27, engaged, pregnant and a nurse. I was a good kid, but definitely mouthy, introverted, and distant. My mother is the exact opposite. She is the life of the party and I suspect she's less than introspective. I always just wanted her to love me for what I was and acccept me and my flaws. However, she seems bent on living vicariously through me. Im a nurse because s'e wanted to be a nurse, but failed out of school. She always talks about her mistakes and how much she wishes she could do things differently. Growing up I was constantly seeking her approval as a small child. But I always felt like I came up short. If I disappointed her I went from the daughter she was so proud of to "a slut" when I told her I lost my virginity at 16, a "quitter" when I decided I didn't want to do dance when I was 14 , and now when she's upset she likes to say "something is wrong with me" or she asks me if "someone else is making me behave this way". I'm honestly tired of trying to be what she wants and always coming up short. I'm engaged and she rarely asks me about my relationship, but she does ask me about the baby. I think she'd be happier if I were a single mother, like her, and financially successful than a mother with a successful relationship. I don't know how to make her understand that I just need her support and not her constant lecturing or belittling. I'm just tired, but she's the only person in my family I'm even remotely close to... I feel stuck.
Can someone explain how journaling works on this site? What do we write about? How do we share? I'm interested in trying to see if this helps me. Any thought and suggestions is appreciated. thank you
What's your favourite kind of soup? And do you like bread or crackers with your soup?