I have trouble accepting other people unions. Last time I talked about this, people criticized me. Its not fair to come in for some emotional support and get bit. I can go to my own mother for this! Very disappointed. Many people are so quick to give out their advise when Im not asking for any! Anyways, I attended the strange pagan wedding of my husbands friends yesterday. In a way I was glad it softened the embarrassment I had each time I thought about my own which took place at the Moose Lodge behind Wal-Mart. By comparison, ours was even classy LOL. Anyhow, the bride was the woman my husband had some history with. She was romantically attracted to him and they kissed, but no relationship came out of that. Furthermore, at that same wedding, there was a woman whom, as he whispered to me, was dating few years back. Although I was glad he told me about the second woman, I wish it wasnt so because the rest of the time I was there it was on the back of my mind. I almost felt like on the set of drama The Days of Our Lives. I had mixed feelings about the wedding. Somewhat appalled at the style, but well, its their wedding after all. Their day, their wishes. But this nagging feeling was also added to what I described, - something like aha, we dont get to be the center of attention, our chance had passed and now its just the boring everyday life without major couplehood celebrations. The husband told me afterwards, knowing my issue, If that makes you feel any better, that other woman kept staring in our direction and probably was jealous of what we had. Thats probably why she and her husband left so early. His notion did not even make me feel any better. We are scheduled to attend another wedding next month, its also gonna be stressful for me. Dont know how to learn to relax yet other than valium. I cannot live my life permanently hiding out at my house avoiding stressful social situations.
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