Just think when u move she cant be as controlling, she can still call and annoy you but u dont have to answer, but anyways thats just mean and horrible. Parents are supposed to give unconditional love, regardless of what you look like. That is awful that she treats u like that, no one deserves that. As for no one listening when u were sexually abused and no one would listen did u try and get counselling? I know what its like to have a controlling bitchy mother, but now that i moved for college shes not as bad, maybe it will be the same for you. I strongly suggest you get counselling at your school, i know my school provies it for free. Good luck, *hugs*

It sounds like your mom has an eating disorder (among other issues), so I would take her comments on your weight with a grain of salt.

If things get too much for you to handle, maybe stay with a friend? You don't have to tell them what is going on specifically, just tell them you and your mom are butting heads right now...or maybe just show up and ask if they wanna have a sleepover.

And I agree about the counselling. Sometimes the hardest thing is feeling like no one wants to listen to you - like your problems don't matter. Having someone to talk to is critical, I think.

Good luck.

Negative remarks, some people think "help" or "remind" another, to improve. Most of the time they do more harm than good. Anyway, looks fade, weight changes, but _________ lasts forever. They say. Good Luck.

Sometimes family can beat you down until you just don't wanna be around them anymore. My family treated me like crap and this thanksgiving they were begging for me to come have dinner with them. I declined and decided to spend my holiday with people who really love me. My hubby and my daugher.

I don't go to school anymore so I don't have access to counselling, but I have tried and it only made everything worse. Thanks

In the States here, there are programs where you can get training for jobs and live on a campus. That way you don't have to live at home. Is there anything like that where you live. Is it possible to live in some type of program that help you get life skills?

huh...i think our moms should hang out
they can get together and criticize us together

fun stuff moms do

My mother is always putting me down too.She has done this all my life and when I say something back,or my husband comes to my defense,she threatens to hit my husband.I told her a few weeks ago that I plainly do not want anything more to do with her,ever.She is always telling me I am big,though I only weigh 130.I have problems with my liver and I am fighting cancer,so my stomache is swollen,but she keeps saying nasty things.i finally had to say no more putting up with it

I hate my Mum.. It's only 67 days until I'm out of here.. I still have to be nice, she's paying for my Uni fees..

my mom is the same way. I've learned whenever she talks Just to pretend to listen. But if I do hear something negative coming from her I blow off steam by listening to some angry music. I hope this helps thats what got me through when I was living with my parents. good luck!!

Thanks. I try and blow if off, but I always seem to get angry and then I hold it in and then take it out on my only true friend left.

It's only 61 more days now =]

I stumbled across this post of yours after experiencing a similar dillema this morning. It's like me and my mum don't talk about anything like we used to anymore. All she is content about doing is arguing with me, playing mind games and belittling me. It hurts because I love her so much but I am getting the impression her love for me is somewhat forced of late. This morning I mentioned to her how great it was that I was seeing a friend in need who I hadn't seen in ages. I was planning on taking this friend some food - happy meals - me and her to eat - what does my mum do? Criticises me for eating junk and putting on weight. She said, "You do know you've put on weight - don't deny it!" And started arguing about it.

She cannot accept that I am so happy the way I am. I am like you - my BMI adds up fine - it always has - It's just I have a more 'feminine' shape now - curves and all. My mother is the opposite and feasts on an orange every other day.

I failed my first year of college. Because unknown to my mother I was on the verge of an eating disorder - throwing up and starving myself. But hey. I looked 'great' so she didn't mention anything. I got depressed and didn't bother with work.

The following year I read a book that changed my whole perspective on my body and attitude to life. I learnt to enjoy food again and just be happy through my personality. Now I am an A grade pupil and am the happiest I have ever been. My mum doesn't care for my happiness. Quite frankly. I think that my figure is of more importance to her at this moment.

I was crying before - thinking - God she's right. But your story has given me strength. Thankyou for that. And congratulations on whatever your A Level results turn out to be. I'm not worried - I worked hard! :P

I am also counting down the days to 'escape' the home and taste true independance in all it's ups and downs! :)

The reason why I worked so hard throughout high school was to ensure that I would get to Uni so I could move away! lol :P

I know this sounds simple.... the words are but digesting the meaning takes a little longer.
"This is not about YOU, this is about HER. Everyone acts and reacts from their own paradigm (whatever their own world is for them). You mom has some issues around weight and is projecting them on to you.
It may be hard, but just ignore her. Everytime she makes a comment or looks at you a certain way, remember - it is about her own internal hell and has nothing to do with you.
Stay STrong.