
Family Issues Support Group
Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.
My being adopted as an adult is causing problems.

deleted_user
I am the result of an affair. My dad at the age of ten was tricked into having sex with a much older woman, she was very drunk, he was was gullable. A pair of teenagers who wanted to see something sick took advantage of them both and I am the result. My mother was married at the time and was estranged from her husband, my dad was visiting with friends and was just walking around bored. Thirteen years later, after having been through much abuse at the hands of my step-father I was removed from the custody of he and my mother. It was due mostly to one event that led to me having to having several reconstructive surgeries on my face and I am still in therapy for PTSD thanks to it. When I was 16, I was able to connect with my dad, a very good man, really he is. Very sensitive and kind. We had arranged for me to adopted, and kept in contact mostly through letters and were growing very close. One day, my letters began to come back return to sender and the delivery company that I had been using reported to me that there was a woman at his door refusing delivery. I was broken for this. For about five years I was in a fog, I have since been through college and have started a new life. Recently, my dad contacted me again, we, I thought had resolved the issue of the broken connection (we hadn't figured out what had happened, but, had decided to move on). My adoption as an adult is now imminent. However, we have found out what had happened. The woman at the door is now his wife, she had been refusing my letters without his knowledge, and had started sending proxy letters to him in my name saying that I thought that he was a pervert and was a horrible person, I have read the letters and do now understand why he broke contact, they are horrible, meant to make him feel as though I did not want him as a father, or even alive for that matter. He was devastated thanks to this, she had fooled him into a depression that she could use against him, as if to say so she could pick up the pieces of this mess and make herself the center of his world. He is now pursuing an anullment from her, obviously he cannot trust her anymore. I have a little brother by this woman, I have been through a lot of hell because of something that he did (I do not blame him, it's those teens I'd like to string-up) and he is now getting a divorce. The man is now in his own version of hell thanks to all of the regret that it has placed upon him and, I have no idea how to comfort him. I want so much to just hold him and my brother and stop all of this madness, but, I've no idea how to start or what to say. Outside of the hugs I've only now just started to receive from him I've honestly never gotten any before. I know that in my previous writings I have left this portion of the story out, but, I had to given that it had been unresolved. I really need some advice here, I have a family now, and I don't know how to manage it, it is as if I am a robot unable to show empathy, I want to, I just don't know where to even start. Please, anyone with any clue here, help.
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You need to look at the emotional aspects of all of this and made a sound decision.
How would it help being adopted by your natural father?
How would it hurt being adopted?
Are there any advatages?
disadvantages?
I pray that you can find the right answer for everyone. Hugs