Family Issues Support Group

Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.

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Mother-in-law for sale!!!

deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm at the end of my rope when it comes to my inlaws! to make a long story short...they have money problems because they spend what they dont have way too much and then bum it off of either their kids or thir parents. well when they borrow form us, it puts us in debt and its always something. my husband is a good guy and whats to help if he can...and eeven when we cant. so my inlaw decided that they are moving...into the same apartment complex as me and my DH! its not the first time they have done this, thats why im pissed off becuase it seems like everytime a flea farts they are around and its irriatating! plus to add a littel fuel to the fire, im & months pregnant so they will never go away!, it the first grandaughter in the family so they will always be around since they hardly ever get to see their grandson. im just afraid they are gonna push and push and im gonn lose it to the point that everyone hates me. so how can i discuss this with my husband, in a way that he wont think ing being abitch but get the point across to him that we need to set some boundries and quick they are moving in between the 1st of december and the 15th of december. i would really appreciate it!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Your husband may be kind but he sounds weak. It should be him that puts an end to all of this. He will have to be clear and firm.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I so feel for you and I see this type of thing happening to myself in the future and pray that it doesn't.

Setting boundaries is the main thing and you HAVE to do it quick or it's over. But he has to be with you or it won't work. What a crappy situation to be in. I'm so so sorry you are dealing with this right now. You DO NOT need this at 9 months pregnant.
deleted_user
deleted_user
i agree with you both! Bella, your absolutely right! when it comes to his mommy and daddy he's weak. he looks at all of the things they "have done for us" in the past, and wont give in. its almost like he feels because they were so young when they had him and they sacrificed everything for him that he owes them in a way...and the sad thing is his mother knows that, and she uses her kids in a way, which pisses me off! its not her sons place to bail them out all the time! his parents are 40 and 38, they should be better off then they are now, and im sorry that they arnt but i can't go into debt and be a bad parent to my child becuase they screwed up their lives. Eliza, you are also right. i cant deal with this bs at 9 months pregnant, thta why i gottasquash it now! i know me and my DH will probably be helping them move when they decide they are becuase that always how it works someone in the family moves everyone helps--except me im not lifting a thing! but i appreciate you both of ryour imput! anymore advice feel free to add. i think what it comes down to is i dont wanna make him feel like a bad preson, i just want him to know you cant help someone who wont help themselves and i wont go into debt for his parents. how do i do that?
deleted_user
deleted_user
Mother-in-law for sale? Hell, I'm trying to give mine away!!!! Just a joke,( not really) Anyway, I understand we need to honor our parents, but that doesn't mean parent them, at our own risk. I have a feeling that when the baby comes, your husband will realize that his daughter is his first priority. I don't think he will be taking diapers or food out of her mouth. When a dad sees his baby, especially a daughter, it has an impact. Tell your husband that although his parents will be close, you want him to understand that you will need your "alone" time to bond with the baby, and you will need his help and support to do that. Tell him your fears, about your mother-in-law crowding you, and monopolizing him. Definitely set boundaries ASAP.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Yes, I know what you mean by setting boundaries. My husband can't speak up either, at all. It's really wierd. He thinks his mother will break or something. So, I've had to and now they probably hate me. It happens.

To be sane though, you have to have boundaries and privacy, or you will go insane. I hope your husband does speak up. He does not owe his parents. It's their job to bring him up. My husband feels obligated to his mother to be there for his messed up family, because he is the oldest one and their father was abusive. So he feels the need to go easy on his siblings, cause no one ever did. What a headache and burden his mother makes him feel guilty for if he doesn't.
Dixe4me
Dixe4me
Keep bailing them out and you'll keep having to.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I am with you girl.If we could only pick our in-laws.I love my husband with all my heart but the in-laws can go if I had the chance.
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