
Family Issues Support Group
Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.

deleted_user
At the beginning of October I emailed my family members to ask if they'd like to go in on an expensive gift for my husband. One or two replied and said sure. My MIL did not reply. I called her more recently and asked her if she'd like to help, she says "Yeah that's what we were planning on doing." Then I email her and ask her how much she's able to give. She says "Let me know when you get it and if you're satisfied and I'll send a check." That isn't an answer. So I write back and say I just need an amount so I can plan more efficiently, she writes back the exact same thing as last time. Then I again ask for a specific amount and let her know she doesn't have to give me the money right away if that is the issue. She doesn't reply for weeks, last night she emailed back and said "Sorry we won't be able to help because our gifts have already been decided on."
WHAT!?!?! I am so frustrated. I'd like to say something about her LYING to me but will that rock the boat? She was under no obligation to help but her own word of saying yes.
Help...
WHAT!?!?! I am so frustrated. I'd like to say something about her LYING to me but will that rock the boat? She was under no obligation to help but her own word of saying yes.
Help...
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But, I'm not sure, because I'm not a mother in-law yet, but I don't know if I would want my daughter in-law initiating this idea of a big family gift and as his mother going along with it. It seems a little controlling and I'm not sure but are you giving everyone a say in what it is you are purchasing. I know you mean well, but I would not want to participate in this, unless it was something he always wanted, and then I would probably participate.
Sorry, your MIL probably felt this way and didn't want to say no at first, cause they want to be included in this at some level, but then just can't commit because they don't know what it is.
Hope that makes sense.