My mother died last week. I was very close to my mother but she was the kind of person who felt that if was "her way or no way". I am 41 years old, married, with 2 children. My sister is 44 years old and still lives at home. She never married and as far as I know, never had a relationship. She has a good job and can afford to move out. But never did. When my mother got sick in October and was in the hospital, my father and sister never called to tell me that she was in the hospital. When she got sick again in January, they waited a week to tell me she was in the hospital. She would be in the hospital for about a month before going home to essentially die of ovarian cancer. My mother was a huge fan of Disneyworld and we took many trips to Disney. My mother wanted to take one last trip to Disney and my sister made arrangements for a family trip. She made hotel and restaurant reservations and told me when I was going to be going. My wife and kids were not invited and we were going to be gone for a week and stay in the same small room. Four adults in a small hotel room is not fun. I said I would have to talk to my wife about going and my sister got mad. I said I could go for the weekend since my wife worked (I recently got let go from my job) and her schedule did not permit her to take care of the kids since it was a two person job. (school schedules, etc.). I was told that I was ruining my mother's dying wish and that my mother no longer wanted to speak to me. I knew my mother wasn't going to go to Disney. She could not get out of bed and was not eating. I had no problem with planning the trip to put my mom at ease, but did they really expect me to drop my life and go with them? Apparently they did. So my mom did not talk to me for a few weeks. I would call my dad up on the phone and ask to speak to mom. He would hang up me. Yep, my own dad hung up on me. I would send my sister emails about how my mom is doing and I would get one word responses (fine, good, etc.). I finally gave up. She didn't want to see me or even my kids (her grandkids). Then my mother went into hospice care and I was granted permission to see her. I saw her one time while she was under medication and wasn't coherent and she died less than a week later. At the funeral my father refused to speak to me. My sister is refusing all help and is refusing to let me have anything of my mothers. Trust me, I have a dysfunctional family.
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