i have a suposidly odd family history. in a nut shell it goes like this. my dad was never around when i was a kid and when he was it was just to yell at me. when i got older i began to understand that my dad chose not to be home with us. i always heard my mom ranting about how my dad was never around, how he was always out ith his friends. my dad was around more when my brother was born. he spent time with my brother, took him for hikes in the woods, bought him a dirt bike, and ignored me. my dad constantly lets me know that my plans for the future, and me in general arnt good enough for him. he compairs my brother and i to our cousins, and only has bad things to say about us. he calls me fat, he calls my brother stupid, but he is nice to his friends, and he is nice and plays with our cousins. he loves them, i guess they are good enough. i dont understand what i did wrong, or what i could do to make him proud of me. i hate him for all the pain he has caused me, and i feel guilty for it every minute, because it must be me that isnt right, it must be my fault. why do other kids get dads who care about them, but not me? why dosent my dad love me...?
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