
Family Issues Support Group
Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.

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I don't talk to my parents (who are divorced) and I barely talk to my siblings. My dad is a liar. I am finding out I am turning out to be like him and I don't want to be.
I have corresponded with siblings behind my wife's back and later confessed to her. She considers it lying since I witheld it (as do I). Anyways...I guess the reason I did it is because at the time I felt I didn't need anyone's permission to do something as trivial as emailing my siblings. I felt like I had an obligation to my family of origin to, at least, be friendly and keep in contact. My family of origin has never really accepted my wife or treated her nicely, so we basically have cut off, so to speak. My wife says that that sense of obligation towards my family of origin is a betrayal to her and our son and our new family. I agree with her. Here's the part that I have a question about. At the time I was sending the email, I sort of knew in my subconscience that what I was doing would piss off my wife, but I did so anyways. I love my wife and son, and never want to leave them, but at the same time, I feel the need to be in touch with my siblings and parents...eventhough they are just inconsiderate, and sometimes awful towards us. I have tried so hard to just eliminate them from our lives, but I think about them all a lot. I have tried to delete their phone numbers from my phone and the email addresses from my address book....but the problem lies within me. I am a horrible communicator and I think I need psycological help when it comes to communication with people in general. Anyone have advice or has anyone experienced similar conditions?
I have corresponded with siblings behind my wife's back and later confessed to her. She considers it lying since I witheld it (as do I). Anyways...I guess the reason I did it is because at the time I felt I didn't need anyone's permission to do something as trivial as emailing my siblings. I felt like I had an obligation to my family of origin to, at least, be friendly and keep in contact. My family of origin has never really accepted my wife or treated her nicely, so we basically have cut off, so to speak. My wife says that that sense of obligation towards my family of origin is a betrayal to her and our son and our new family. I agree with her. Here's the part that I have a question about. At the time I was sending the email, I sort of knew in my subconscience that what I was doing would piss off my wife, but I did so anyways. I love my wife and son, and never want to leave them, but at the same time, I feel the need to be in touch with my siblings and parents...eventhough they are just inconsiderate, and sometimes awful towards us. I have tried so hard to just eliminate them from our lives, but I think about them all a lot. I have tried to delete their phone numbers from my phone and the email addresses from my address book....but the problem lies within me. I am a horrible communicator and I think I need psycological help when it comes to communication with people in general. Anyone have advice or has anyone experienced similar conditions?
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We are what we think we are. And, then act out accordingly.
You're human. You have hurts and desires just like anyone else. If it hurts you that your family doesn't like your wife, you can tell them that in a loving way. How they react to it is their responsiblity.
Families are difficult and they hurt us/we hurt them...the most because we love them so much. But, if you just communicate well with them and your wife, you know that you've done all you can to help patch things up on YOUR side. The rest is up to them. You're not Superman. You don't have control over anyone's actions, but your own.
If your family can't accept your wife right now...they'll come around. Families that truly love one another always do.
((HUGS))
The only difference with our situation is I thought he loved me so unconditionally, and I found out, that after not being able to cope with his dysfunctional family (rudeness etc.) I just started to alienate myself from them. Well, he thought he could just not see them and as he says "life goes on and we all die one day" so I'
ll see them again in another time. Just a quote. But, with time, he has alienated himself from us (me and my kids) and I have found he can't live without his siblings and mother. Not that I ever wanted him to. And now our marriage is all but finished (although there were other issues also, but that is from dysfunction of his other family). So you see, even though you love your wife and son, I would say that it is hard for some people to detach themselves from dysfunction.
So, you are probably struggling with that and the fact that you spent the first years of your life with these people, as my husband says.
When you marry, I feel you have an obligation to your new family to put them first. Just as his family and parents united with their children. Hopefully, you will not be like my husband and throw away a loving wife, because he feels it is family loyalty. He will not realize the consequences (my husband) until he sees that his other family cannot fill the needs that he has as an adult man. But then it will probably be too late for him.
So, look hard at this situation. Your wife and child are owed your total devotion or you shouldn't have married her.
Good luck.