Family Issues Support Group

Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.

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Husband's Ex-Wife DRAMA!!

So my husband's ex-wife likes to "throw a fit" every now and then when she is depressed. She talks shit about my husband and puts the blame on him for everything that is wrong in her life. She puts him down and calls him pathetic and the worst father ever. Me being his wife gets pissed off and intervene because I can't just sit their while she insults my husband. Then she says "This is non of your business. It's between them and she will handle it." Isn't that what all Ex-Wives says?!!

My husband is the type that will ignore her and will not talk back to her and let her say whatever she likes. He's the more calm and patient one. He doesn't let things like this get to him. He just let her say whatever she please. The only thing he'll say back is "Whatever...Uh huh...Whatever."

So me being the Wife has to jump in and defend him and put her in her place. Do I not have the right to say something?? What would you guys do or say??

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

Its always wise to remain silent and ignore a fool. Your husband has the right idea.
deleted_user
deleted_user

@ GRACE710:: Thanks for you advice. I will consider it strongly next time. Its just that I don't have the same temperment as my husband. His ex-wife can say all these awful things to him and it doesn't bother him one bit. But it bothers me A LOT and I feel as though if I don't say something I will explode. When I am Bothered by something or someone I feel like I have to say something or my mind won't be at ease. I know I shouldn't let it bother me especially when I know the this she is saying is untrue but that's what pisses me off! They aren't TRUE! *sighhh......
deleted_user
deleted_user

Can I ask? Where is she saying all of this? Is it on the phone? At your and your husband's home? At her home?
deleted_user
deleted_user

We live in North Carolina. She lives in California. So it's either in texting messages, e-mails, or by phone.
deleted_user
deleted_user

I agree with Grace. Don't respond to her comments. If she is calling, texting, or emailing about something important about the child or children then just respond to that...whatever else she says is just wasted air. Don't waste your energy on her bitterness.
deleted_user
deleted_user

I was just wondering why your husband needs to have any contact with her at all. I think it is great that he can not let her insults get to him however why listen to them in the first place? If it is a situation that has to do with a child that is not yet 18 there are still ways that things can be arranged such as using a person appointed by court to transfer any information regarding any children such as visitation, child support and so on. Until his ex wife can work out her problems and be civil personally I feel it isn't wise to have any contact with her at all unless it is through letters from the court.

Perhaps by taking these steps this ex wife will get some much needed help and get her life back in order rather then continue to throw insults out at your husband. Your husband does have the right idea by not allowing her abuse to bother him but again I think why put up with it at all when you don't have to. To me if your hubby continues to have contact with her she will only continue her abuse.. Anyway just something to consider:)
deleted_user
deleted_user

What katiebell says sounds even better. I hope the best for you and your husband.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Thanks for all your feedback! Greatly Appreciated. Ignoring her does sound like the wiser choice. Yes he has two kids with her that is why we need to keep in contact with her. The son's birthday is coming up and we told her we we're sending the son Gifts this year instead of money because my husband's doesn't trust her. So she "Threw a fit" and got mad because she wanted to do his birthday at Chuck E. Cheese. Well she said the exact same thing last year, we sent her money and it nevered happen. She just did a small birthday party at home for him and she used her foodstamps to buy the food. So we was wondering where did that money go. Anyways, I've already figured out that I can Reserve and Pay for a Birthday Party Event online for California and that is what we will do. Thanks for the advice. :)
iloverabbits
iloverabbits

I agree with all the advice above. Plus, you getting angry and frustrated is not a good solution. That's like drinking poison to kill your enemies. Best to let her be miserable all on her own.
deleted_user
deleted_user

I agree with everyone. I had a similar situation, yrs. ago only it was my ex. He was just miserable & jealous & I used to get so upset. He finally quit after ignoring him for awhile so it ended up working. Good idea with the prepaid party. Maybe you could also send a gift in case the ex says she's the one who threw the party.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Oh yes. We are sending gifts as well. We've already bought it so most definetely. :) Thanks. Ignoring the Ignorant it is.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Best you can do is to IGNORE her!! Just imagine how you would feel if you were trying to get someone into and argument, into flippng out..if you put so much energy to push their buttons and all they did was brush it off and go on with their lives like you don't even Exist...I bet you'd feel pissed! So just do that to her...and she might try even harder to get you to lose it...But stay strong and don't lose your composure! That's much harder then yelling back, but trust me it.s so worth it! G'luck! :-)