
Family Issues Support Group
Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.

deleted_user
Hi, I've had to distance myself from my extended family for years, because my family is full of manipulating, controlling people. It was either that, or go crazy. I still talk to them, but I just can't get close, because it's just controlling and bullying and game playing with them. I feel better for it, and wish I didn't have to, but there just is no other way.
My problem here is, my hubby's family is dysfunctional as well, if not worse, but in a different way. It's easier to divorce your own family so to speak, but how can I do it with his since my hubby doesn't have any problem with them. I would like to have that distance and live a separate life and not have to deal or be part of the bullcrap, but how is that possible, because you can't truly distance yourself from them, if your husband still wants to get involved. I feel manipulated because of the control they think they have, just because their my hubby's blood family they think there is no question as to where his loyalty should be. They have no doubt that he is their family and I should just follow suit, so to speak. I don't want to get involved, unless absolutely necessary i.e., funeral etc. So, I feel they are just going to bypass me and keep in contact with my children and hubby. It is my mil's only grandchildren.
How can I keep things distant from them in all aspects, yet in a way as to be friendly and them not resentful, when we have to get together for certain things, like I do with my family. Is there a way.
My problem here is, my hubby's family is dysfunctional as well, if not worse, but in a different way. It's easier to divorce your own family so to speak, but how can I do it with his since my hubby doesn't have any problem with them. I would like to have that distance and live a separate life and not have to deal or be part of the bullcrap, but how is that possible, because you can't truly distance yourself from them, if your husband still wants to get involved. I feel manipulated because of the control they think they have, just because their my hubby's blood family they think there is no question as to where his loyalty should be. They have no doubt that he is their family and I should just follow suit, so to speak. I don't want to get involved, unless absolutely necessary i.e., funeral etc. So, I feel they are just going to bypass me and keep in contact with my children and hubby. It is my mil's only grandchildren.
How can I keep things distant from them in all aspects, yet in a way as to be friendly and them not resentful, when we have to get together for certain things, like I do with my family. Is there a way.
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If is aware of how you feel (and you have put it tactfully) he is the best person who is able to let you in on how you can keep your distance while maintaining civility with them.
I am having my first child with my partner and i absolutley cant stand the male side of his family (thank god he was raised by his mothers side) His fatheres side his controling, manipulative, in your face, chauvenistic, dismissive of me and the list goes on....
I have shared my reservations with my partner and explained to him that: "i really don't want to hurt him but he kind of owes it to me to help me on this one because he has to have near to no contact with my fam as my parents have passed away and my other relatives are a distance away - so he gets out of this blend with another family who may as well be aliens type dynemic, yet i am having to navigate my way through it with no map - so i deserve his help with my needs concerning keeping my sanity with his family"
Long winded i know - but you really need him onboard with you on this one for any real chance of it going smoothly for you and him.