Hi, I've had to distance myself from my extended family for years, because my family is full of manipulating, controlling people. It was either that, or go crazy. I still talk to them, but I just can't get close, because it's just controlling and bullying and game playing with them. I feel better for it, and wish I didn't have to, but there just is no other way.

My problem here is, my hubby's family is dysfunctional as well, if not worse, but in a different way. It's easier to divorce your own family so to speak, but how can I do it with his since my hubby doesn't have any problem with them. I would like to have that distance and live a separate life and not have to deal or be part of the bullcrap, but how is that possible, because you can't truly distance yourself from them, if your husband still wants to get involved. I feel manipulated because of the control they think they have, just because their my hubby's blood family they think there is no question as to where his loyalty should be. They have no doubt that he is their family and I should just follow suit, so to speak. I don't want to get involved, unless absolutely necessary i.e., funeral etc. So, I feel they are just going to bypass me and keep in contact with my children and hubby. It is my mil's only grandchildren.

How can I keep things distant from them in all aspects, yet in a way as to be friendly and them not resentful, when we have to get together for certain things, like I do with my family. Is there a way.