Family Issues Support Group
Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.
I grew up in an adoptive family. 'mother' would hack off my hair so i looked like a boy. I used to suffer dizziness and colapse she would just drag me along the floor and shout at me. There was no love just looking down her nose at me.
Her sister was the same and her mother (my grandmother) -not good enough. should be grateful they took me in.
started my periods at 9 1/2. All i was told was to keep away from boys. No pretty bra just made to feel even more ugly. Even when on my period only allowed to have a bathe once a week and then had to use an old towell to dry myself with. I must have smelt auful.
Not allowed to shave under my arms, wear makeup have nice clothes. I was an ugly thing.
Growing up was hard, my first relatioship was at 16. 'she' found out and i was nothing more than a whore.
The relationship ended apparently i wasn't good enough anyone only had to look at my adopted mother to see that.
I used sex to feel good andloved and this continued for many years. Of course this openend me to even more abuse. I landed up in a relationship where he would beat me up if i would not give him sex. I drank so much in the end to deaden the pain of the punches and kicks.
Managed to get out of this relationship when i found my natural father. I went to live down by him. He seemed to be my knight in shining armour. No he was not. I was vunerable and things happened that should not have and then i was rejected.
Tried suicide didn't work and eventually decided to try and change my life.
Met a man and really loved him. He was kind and loving and not abusive. I had my son but then this wonderful man left me the day my son was born. Just turned his back on us.
I dedicated my life to my son and we got on with it. Had no relationship for 4 ys until an old flame turned up. Suffered him for 6 months until found out he was using me to escape from debtors from where he lived, managed to get rid eventually with police help.
No relationships then for another 5 years. Met up with an ex army man. God he was so cruel. Mentally tortured me for 2 years until one day smashed me in the face and gave me concushion and broken nose. Managed to get out of the relationship 6 months later. No relationship for a further 3 years.
Got together with a church 'freind' and against everyones advice married him. Another abuser, he went after he smashed my life up and left me penniless, without friends a job. We are divorced now and am trying to get back on track but with everything including miscarriages its really hard.
I question what is love? I do love my son he is the world to me and thank god he does not understand what it is not to be loved or accepted. when will this pain end or am i not worthy of love and a bad person just as my adopted parents said i was.
Her sister was the same and her mother (my grandmother) -not good enough. should be grateful they took me in.
started my periods at 9 1/2. All i was told was to keep away from boys. No pretty bra just made to feel even more ugly. Even when on my period only allowed to have a bathe once a week and then had to use an old towell to dry myself with. I must have smelt auful.
Not allowed to shave under my arms, wear makeup have nice clothes. I was an ugly thing.
Growing up was hard, my first relatioship was at 16. 'she' found out and i was nothing more than a whore.
The relationship ended apparently i wasn't good enough anyone only had to look at my adopted mother to see that.
I used sex to feel good andloved and this continued for many years. Of course this openend me to even more abuse. I landed up in a relationship where he would beat me up if i would not give him sex. I drank so much in the end to deaden the pain of the punches and kicks.
Managed to get out of this relationship when i found my natural father. I went to live down by him. He seemed to be my knight in shining armour. No he was not. I was vunerable and things happened that should not have and then i was rejected.
Tried suicide didn't work and eventually decided to try and change my life.
Met a man and really loved him. He was kind and loving and not abusive. I had my son but then this wonderful man left me the day my son was born. Just turned his back on us.
I dedicated my life to my son and we got on with it. Had no relationship for 4 ys until an old flame turned up. Suffered him for 6 months until found out he was using me to escape from debtors from where he lived, managed to get rid eventually with police help.
No relationships then for another 5 years. Met up with an ex army man. God he was so cruel. Mentally tortured me for 2 years until one day smashed me in the face and gave me concushion and broken nose. Managed to get out of the relationship 6 months later. No relationship for a further 3 years.
Got together with a church 'freind' and against everyones advice married him. Another abuser, he went after he smashed my life up and left me penniless, without friends a job. We are divorced now and am trying to get back on track but with everything including miscarriages its really hard.
I question what is love? I do love my son he is the world to me and thank god he does not understand what it is not to be loved or accepted. when will this pain end or am i not worthy of love and a bad person just as my adopted parents said i was.
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
at 19, i met my fiance off of myspace and we have been together ever since for 2 yrs 3 months. he loves me so much and i love him to death. i love my fiance more than my own siblings! its the kind of love that u would do anything for someone, in my opinion and i feel i dont have that kind of love for my siblings. i strive everyday to help my fiance be successful, i will do anything i can to help him succeed.
i didnt know what love was until i met him. i dont get the kind of love im suppose to get my from my parents. my fiance shows me all the love in the world.
i was told by ppl that i am worthy of love and loving others. if my mom cant love me for me then i need to love myself and be true to myself.
The very, very important thing for you to know is that you are NOT responsible for the way you were treated as a child. My mother was very neglectful too, not at the same degree but there was a lot of dysfunction between us. But it is NOT your fault, and it is NOT my fault.
These things happen because families carry it, because its the only thing they know. When we are raised a certain way, for better or worse, it's what we carry to our children.
Because we were neglected and treated horribly, we end up doing it to ourselves, even though we know in our heart it isn't right. We know we don't deserve it but it is so scary to change that we just get up in the endless cycle.
I ended up being married to a man who treated me the same way I was treated growing up, and I've struggled with all sorts of things. Eating disorders, very, very low self esteem, self-isolation, depression, stuffing my feelings, etc.
I still have a long ways to go but I got started at Al-Anon, a support group for friends & families of alcoholics. Even if you don't have alcoholic parents, it could be carried from grandparents. The dysfunction is always going to be there.
Allow yourself the dignity to get help. Love yourself, allow yourself to talk about it in a safe enviornment. You deserve it.