if everything I build seems to be going down these days. If Someone has a goal and they work hard and strive towards it, in the real world a really strong person supposed to overcome the obstacles, pick up whats left of their pride and march one towards victory. I find this scenario disturbing. All the thereapists I had told me to slow down and take one step at a time to be able to enjoy the small successes. But I every time I try, something bad happens even at the smallest stuff. By the time I am done, I have no joy of whatever was accomplished. For instance, I could not download the songs I wanted for a while. My computer acted funny. It had to do with a firewall and resolution. Not sure what the connection was.. When I got to the site, it was not willing to pull the information I request. By the time, after about an hour of huffing and puffing of impatience, all I had left was the resentment and exhaustion. I did not enjoy my small victory anymore. A struggle had dissolved any positive feeling about accomplishment. Although journalizing here helps to alleviate some heartache, it does nothing to feel happy in life over accomplishments. Therefore the only time I can feel happy is with the meds lately. Anyone can relate?
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