I am married to a wonderful man but due to past issues with my bilogical father it is hard for me to trust people especially men. My father left my mother when she was pregnant with me and did the same to my other four sisters mothers. He is a heavy drinker, drug user and has been to prison before. He marries women who are well off and then lives with them till he bleeds them dry and they divorce him. He has never had a real relationship with any of us girls. I am 36 years old and my father has contacted me 3 times in my life and says he has changed and he wants to establish a real relationship with me. He usually lasts 6-8 months then he is back to his normal self. But during those 6-8 mo. he is wonderful he keeps in contact and visits and is just like a real father should be. Then he starts drinking again and he leaves again for another 15-20 years. Deep down I know the problem is with him and not with us girls or me specific but it hurts so much to know that he does not love us...Every child wants the love of their parents. Anyway these issues with my father has caused me to block my inner heart off so no one can get close enough to hurt me like he did again. I love my husband more than I ahve ever loved any other man but I know that I keep him blocked out for fear that he will hurt me like my father does when He leaves. My husband says this is hurting out marriage and if I dont' get help he is leaving, he needs someone he can share his life with... I understand and want to change I am just not for sure how to go about it...
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