Sounds like my mom, Negative all the damn time and don't want nobody else to be happy. Get the ball rolling on the marriage and get the heck up outta there...

exactly how my mom is, then she cant understand why i am in a pissy ass mood cuz her role modeling and attitude reflects on me!

true, cant wait to move out next year!

People who love you most will always use things you care about most against you weither they mean it or not. They know it will get a reaction out of you and that is what they are looking for. It sounds like to me that your mom is craving attention from you and that perhaps since you've gotten engaged she feels like she's lost her little girl. This scares a mother more than anything because they don't want to loose you. Try and talk to one another and come to an understanding if possible about this. I was just saying in another post that the hardest thing between two people who truly care about one another is understanding what the other needs to feel complete. Hopefully soon you can explain to your mom that you need time to yourself and your fiance to feel complete and hopefully you might be able to give her some time as well to help her feel complete. It's really hard, but mom's do eventually realize that you've grown up and have a life of your own. Just understand that she's probably lonely in her relationship and had you to confide in and isn't ready to let you go yet. Give her time... she will soon understand.

not really, this family is nowhere near close at all. no, she always has something nasty and rude to say thats just how she is, its not about thats just how mothers are. ppl dont blurt out mean shit just to do it, especially if they are really mean people. my sister is almost 40, she still doesnt get treated like a 39 yr old.

thats her damn fault shes lonely, i could careless! maybe if my mom took the time to make friends, get out of the house instead of sleeping in to 12-3pm in the afternoon, maybe she wouldnt be so damn lonely! plus if she got enough sex and quit be such a negative person, she wouldnt be in this mess. so, all of that is not my problem the only thing im suppose to worry about is me and my fiance, not her she dont mean shit to me never did never will.

my mom made it perfectly clear to all 3 of us that she wouldnt be lonely if her kids wont in her life. watch when i move out next year, thats gonna be a battle like the Civil War. on friday, i was pretty upset cuz of her childish she is and immature. shes in a fucked up marriage; everybody else's fault but hers.

goodness, you sound like my daughter. While each relationship has its ups and downs, I just want to point out, being the mother with a daughter that cusses at me, doesn't give a shit if I live or die, nothing is one sided. I hope I'm different than your mom, I'm not rude to her, I've done everything I can for her, and because of her unhappiness its all my fault, it does not give her the right to disrespect me. Weird how you say you would have cussed her out additionally had your father not been in the room, why exactly is that?? And you laugh when you say she continues to do shit for you, controlling, manipulative and disrespectful. Don't get me wrong I know nothing of your situation, I hope your fiance is good to you and treats you and your mother respectfully. But as a mom, you're probably her life line and she sees you slipping away and whatever is going on between her and your Dad makes it all worse. I'm going to pray for you and her to be able to forget your anger for ten minutes and sit down and talk. No accusations, no cussing, just wants, needs and whether each of you can help a little. But remember, you wouldn't be here if it wasn't for your mother. My daughter doesn't recall that either, and while I miss her immensely I will not allow her to treat me disrespectfully again, I will love her from afar and hope she finds happiness, after all shes the one facing the consequences of her choices. One more thing, if you hate it so much being there with her, why wait until next year? Get out now!! And while I can confidently say I know there are cruel mothers out there, I don't believe I'm one of them and I believe if you dig deep within yourself and your heart you will find a sliver of motivation to encourage you and give you the strength to break the cycle. You hurt because your mom is the way she is, do you want that for your own kids?? You can communicate to her with and about your life and anger, but don't cuss at her, even if she does it to you, say I'm not cussing at your and I'd appreciate you respecting me enough to behave in the same manner. Don't mean to offend, just my opinion from a completely neutral party in a similar but different situation. My prayers that you find the answers that lead you and your fiance to a path of happiness, that includes your mother. Lynette ~ Matthews mom

If your so unhappy then why don't you move out? Your 21 you should move out. Have you thought about being the bigger person and just forgive and forget and start over? She is your mother and though you think you don't need her right now I promise someday you will. Just think about it.

maybe, just maybe if you would stop taking your mom's inventory and look at yourself you could begin to learn how to 'respond' to your mom instead of 'react' to her. there should be no bickering and swearing over going to a store and what the temp is outside. why not just say, 'mom, i don't want to go to the store, i'm cold.' if she has a hurtful or annoying response, that is okay, she's entittled and you can walk away. why irritate an already annoying situation...
too you are an adult, if you don't like mom's behavior you do not have to live 'in it'.
it sounds like there may be some deeper problems in your relationship with you mother...and if you find the way you treat her to be righteous it should matter not who is around, you wouldn't be ashamed or embarrassed to use vulgarities over a trip to the store...
always remember to look at yourself first and then respond in a manner that can ease or improve a situation and not be the person who contributes exactly that which they hate....
just some thoughts...

MsRandall,

i dont forgive or forget, i dont give a damn if she is my mom. actually, she is not my mother she is just a person taking care of me. i can never forgive, i can never forget. no one can never forget if they were mistreated badly by their families! i cant move out unless i have a job. working and going to school doesnt cut it, thats how i failed my classes. right now, its hard getting a job since i havent worked in 2 years and if u look at these jobs they are crap! dont pay nothin, how am i suppose to move out? ive been lookin into work at home jobs (legit ones) where i can make my own schedule and have time for school, most job interviews i go to wont gimme that much flexibility 4 school. im waiting for my fiance to get the job at the post office so he can swoop me off my feet so we can get a place together.

i promise you i wont need her at all, she has never done shit for me like a mom is suppose to so why would i need her? ill make sure i have enough money to the point where i dont need her.

lynette22,

i am a better person. i wouldnt wanna be like that to my kids at all, i dont treat my friends like that. yes, my fiance is good to me and my mom. he hates my mom, as a matter of fact, nobody likes her! he talks about her like the idiot she is for lacking so much common sense and he doesnt wanna be anywhere near my mom.

i dont normally curse in front of my dad, but if he wasnt there i would let her have it. my mom and i had already done the mother and daughter talk crap. the talking calmly only lasted for 1 mins then we start shouting. i am done talking to her about my emotions and feelings cuz what does it do? not a damn thing, they keep going in the trash every single time. my mom said nobody else's feelings matters but hers, so her own children's emotions dont matter except for my mentally ill sister in NC, she is the only daughter that matters to my mom.

i dont appreciate for the stuff she has done, she has never been a mother! heres the 411: just becuz u put a roof over my head, clothes on my back, and food on the table, that makes u a good parent? the only thing i am looking for is love, nurturing, affection, appreciation, and the big one is support. thats what a good parent, it pisses me when i meet other ppl who come from these broken home with these "parents" who dont know how to parent, and they sit there with a big smile sayin i did a damn good job. it really saddens me 2 hear that. i should of been taken away back in high school, but thats another story.

my fiance told me i was starting to turn into my mom, u know being bitter and hateful. i said i dont wanna be like that, my sister says im hateful all the time and i just tell her idiot ass that if i am so hateful then why didnt u take me to a shrink to get me the help i needed? then that ends the conversation all the time.

i forgot to mention about kids, i always said i dont want kids. the reason why is i dont wanna be the mirror image of my mom and treat my kids the way my mom treated me. thats one of my reasons for not wanting kids and i told my fiance that, he said u would make a great mom, i cant seem to like kids at the moment.

i wanted to move out at 18, but i had no job skills and it took me a year to get a job! i didnt get a job till i was 19 makin 6 bucks an hour, couldnt move out with that. next year, im gonna see what kind of job i can get.

Maia2976,

yea thats true. we argue over the stupidest lil things ever! thats how childish she is, and its embarrassing to bring my friends over! she makes the biggest deal when i go out with guys and if 3 men knocked on my door, she gets mad and says they are gonna rape me, what kind of mom is that?

someone did tell me think b4 u respond to ur mom, i did that and that crap didnt even work! it was a yelling match like it always is.i have a short fuse, thats why it didnt work. i have thought about stuff b4 i say it. i have severe mental issues and its hard to focus in the real world. all we do is fight, yell and scream, fight, yell and scream, etc. thats it! i have done very hurtful things to her and i dont regret it. she has never said sorry to me, why should i say sorry to her? i am only sorry to ppl i love and are close to, she is not someone i love and is not close too. i have no emotions towards her and if u see how i look at her, i have a cold stare towards her. she created a fuck up with severe mental issues, thats her prob. my grandma is bitter like my mom and they are pretty much very alike!

im just saying why does my fiance gotta be in my family arguments when he has nothing to do with what we argue about? my mom has NEVER listen 2 me, doesnt care that im 21, and i dont seem 2 matter 2 her.

im just telling u her own words, im not making this up. im gonna see what kind of jobs to get and do some calculating 2 see how much i need 2 save.

lord, please help ladytiger and her mother, they both need it.

she needs more help than i do! she is the one who doesnt know how to parent, my mom should of taken parenting classes a long time ago.