
Family Issues Support Group
Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.
fiance being involved in my mom and i's arguments?

deleted_user
tonight, i just came home with my fiance. after he left, my mom asked me if i wanted to go to the store with her and i told her i just came back from the store and its kinda nippy out but not 2 cold. she said it wasnt 2 cold when u were out with ur fiance, im like what the fuck does that have to do with it? 1st off, my fiance doesnt get cold easily like i do, he grew up in cold weather i didnt - big difference between us!
i raised my voice at her, we live in AZ it is not that cold but it was kinda nippy and AZ doesnt get nowhere near cold like NY. she was lucky cuz she would of gotten a whole bunch of swear words if my dad wasnt sitting in the living room. trust me, she has gotten a bunch of my swear words but doesnt get it - an idiot will never learn.
the argument always revolves around my fiance, all the time and he didnt do anything at all. his names gets mentioned everytime, im like wtf does he have to do with this? she says all the time, im like we are not discussing about him we are discussing about school, money, jobs, or whatever the topic is. she needs to focus on her fucked up marriage instead of worrying about my relationship, she dont like my fiance so why should she care? she probably be glad if we broke up!
i dont know if she and my dad had another argument again, but she acts like for no apparent reason. she will act like that if u ask her a simple question and shes ready to fight verbally, thats just how ignorant and childish she is. then she said fine ill go to the store by myself i dont need u. i was gonna say then u shouldnt of asked, she is not incapable of going to the store. sorry to say, but my fiance means more to me than some fuckin asshole of a mother! then as always, she doesnt like to do anything for anybody but ends up doing shit for me again anyway lol.
does anyone have any opinions?
i raised my voice at her, we live in AZ it is not that cold but it was kinda nippy and AZ doesnt get nowhere near cold like NY. she was lucky cuz she would of gotten a whole bunch of swear words if my dad wasnt sitting in the living room. trust me, she has gotten a bunch of my swear words but doesnt get it - an idiot will never learn.
the argument always revolves around my fiance, all the time and he didnt do anything at all. his names gets mentioned everytime, im like wtf does he have to do with this? she says all the time, im like we are not discussing about him we are discussing about school, money, jobs, or whatever the topic is. she needs to focus on her fucked up marriage instead of worrying about my relationship, she dont like my fiance so why should she care? she probably be glad if we broke up!
i dont know if she and my dad had another argument again, but she acts like for no apparent reason. she will act like that if u ask her a simple question and shes ready to fight verbally, thats just how ignorant and childish she is. then she said fine ill go to the store by myself i dont need u. i was gonna say then u shouldnt of asked, she is not incapable of going to the store. sorry to say, but my fiance means more to me than some fuckin asshole of a mother! then as always, she doesnt like to do anything for anybody but ends up doing shit for me again anyway lol.
does anyone have any opinions?
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true, cant wait to move out next year!
thats her damn fault shes lonely, i could careless! maybe if my mom took the time to make friends, get out of the house instead of sleeping in to 12-3pm in the afternoon, maybe she wouldnt be so damn lonely! plus if she got enough sex and quit be such a negative person, she wouldnt be in this mess. so, all of that is not my problem the only thing im suppose to worry about is me and my fiance, not her she dont mean shit to me never did never will.
my mom made it perfectly clear to all 3 of us that she wouldnt be lonely if her kids wont in her life. watch when i move out next year, thats gonna be a battle like the Civil War. on friday, i was pretty upset cuz of her childish she is and immature. shes in a fucked up marriage; everybody else's fault but hers.
too you are an adult, if you don't like mom's behavior you do not have to live 'in it'.
it sounds like there may be some deeper problems in your relationship with you mother...and if you find the way you treat her to be righteous it should matter not who is around, you wouldn't be ashamed or embarrassed to use vulgarities over a trip to the store...
always remember to look at yourself first and then respond in a manner that can ease or improve a situation and not be the person who contributes exactly that which they hate....
just some thoughts...
i dont forgive or forget, i dont give a damn if she is my mom. actually, she is not my mother she is just a person taking care of me. i can never forgive, i can never forget. no one can never forget if they were mistreated badly by their families! i cant move out unless i have a job. working and going to school doesnt cut it, thats how i failed my classes. right now, its hard getting a job since i havent worked in 2 years and if u look at these jobs they are crap! dont pay nothin, how am i suppose to move out? ive been lookin into work at home jobs (legit ones) where i can make my own schedule and have time for school, most job interviews i go to wont gimme that much flexibility 4 school. im waiting for my fiance to get the job at the post office so he can swoop me off my feet so we can get a place together.
i promise you i wont need her at all, she has never done shit for me like a mom is suppose to so why would i need her? ill make sure i have enough money to the point where i dont need her.
lynette22,
i am a better person. i wouldnt wanna be like that to my kids at all, i dont treat my friends like that. yes, my fiance is good to me and my mom. he hates my mom, as a matter of fact, nobody likes her! he talks about her like the idiot she is for lacking so much common sense and he doesnt wanna be anywhere near my mom.
i dont normally curse in front of my dad, but if he wasnt there i would let her have it. my mom and i had already done the mother and daughter talk crap. the talking calmly only lasted for 1 mins then we start shouting. i am done talking to her about my emotions and feelings cuz what does it do? not a damn thing, they keep going in the trash every single time. my mom said nobody else's feelings matters but hers, so her own children's emotions dont matter except for my mentally ill sister in NC, she is the only daughter that matters to my mom.
i dont appreciate for the stuff she has done, she has never been a mother! heres the 411: just becuz u put a roof over my head, clothes on my back, and food on the table, that makes u a good parent? the only thing i am looking for is love, nurturing, affection, appreciation, and the big one is support. thats what a good parent, it pisses me when i meet other ppl who come from these broken home with these "parents" who dont know how to parent, and they sit there with a big smile sayin i did a damn good job. it really saddens me 2 hear that. i should of been taken away back in high school, but thats another story.
my fiance told me i was starting to turn into my mom, u know being bitter and hateful. i said i dont wanna be like that, my sister says im hateful all the time and i just tell her idiot ass that if i am so hateful then why didnt u take me to a shrink to get me the help i needed? then that ends the conversation all the time.
i forgot to mention about kids, i always said i dont want kids. the reason why is i dont wanna be the mirror image of my mom and treat my kids the way my mom treated me. thats one of my reasons for not wanting kids and i told my fiance that, he said u would make a great mom, i cant seem to like kids at the moment.
i wanted to move out at 18, but i had no job skills and it took me a year to get a job! i didnt get a job till i was 19 makin 6 bucks an hour, couldnt move out with that. next year, im gonna see what kind of job i can get.
Maia2976,
yea thats true. we argue over the stupidest lil things ever! thats how childish she is, and its embarrassing to bring my friends over! she makes the biggest deal when i go out with guys and if 3 men knocked on my door, she gets mad and says they are gonna rape me, what kind of mom is that?
someone did tell me think b4 u respond to ur mom, i did that and that crap didnt even work! it was a yelling match like it always is.i have a short fuse, thats why it didnt work. i have thought about stuff b4 i say it. i have severe mental issues and its hard to focus in the real world. all we do is fight, yell and scream, fight, yell and scream, etc. thats it! i have done very hurtful things to her and i dont regret it. she has never said sorry to me, why should i say sorry to her? i am only sorry to ppl i love and are close to, she is not someone i love and is not close too. i have no emotions towards her and if u see how i look at her, i have a cold stare towards her. she created a fuck up with severe mental issues, thats her prob. my grandma is bitter like my mom and they are pretty much very alike!
im just saying why does my fiance gotta be in my family arguments when he has nothing to do with what we argue about? my mom has NEVER listen 2 me, doesnt care that im 21, and i dont seem 2 matter 2 her.
im just telling u her own words, im not making this up. im gonna see what kind of jobs to get and do some calculating 2 see how much i need 2 save.