Family Issues Support Group
Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.
The first memory I have of this woman is hatred, and rightly so. She has always been the same with my mother as well, for no reason. She loves my sister, who looks and acts just like my Dad did. I look and act like my mom, and the "Aunt" always loved his ex-wife more and never gave my mom a chance, even my Dad had said so. So Dad passed a lil over a yr ago, and let the whole family know I was to get his medical things, walkers, bed, scooter.....as I was born with a spine disease and am disabled. Due to his violent behavior close to his end, he had to live with my "Aunt" because we were afraid he would seriously harm or even murder my mom or my half-brother (which he did not like for some reason, EVER). When he passed, she gave me his walkers, that was it. Gave me his meds, have no clue why and gave my mom his clothes. The loved sister got his mementos and such as well as the other two surviving children by his ex. She actually lied to us about his wallet, which we needed the info from nothing more. She was in control of his money and all. So she has us believing my half sister "stole his wallet, and had already asked for the scooter, bed and other items." I couldn't reach this sister, as we had lost two brothers and our dad all within 2 yrs. Once it was all sorted out, my mother called to let her know we would be to collect his things in one week. The "Aunt" told my mom if she let her keep those items she would in turn pay the funeral costs for my Dad, which was fair as we were planning on selling the items we didnt need to put toward the costs. Now, I assume the funeral is paid off at this point as I plan on contacting the funeral service soon. If it IS paid off, (I am now almost 28 and she has always let me know she depised me), is it fair that I call her and tell her how selfish and childish she has been, especially at the time I had just lost my DAD? And let her know that I have never needed her affection but I do hope that one day she realizes that the hate will get her no where.? And to tell her that it was absolutely, most importantly, uncalled for and disrespectful to act as she did when my Dad passed by not only lying to us but also causing one sister to be labeled a thief? Or do I just make sure the bill is paid and let it go, as I no she will never change. I just want to know if I am wrong in my wanting to alert her that I know what she has done all these years and that her "grand finale" wasnt lady like nor "grand" in anyway, shape or form?
-
do you guys have any suggestions for my anxiety?
-
Confronting her could it either make you feel better or it could just frustrate you more. So before you do anything think about what closure you could get for yourself. You know your Aunt better then anyone so find what will help you to move on and have a better life for yourself. Sometimes that means dropping all means of contact with a person. One thing I do know it is never wise to try and deal with a stupid person as it will get you no where.
Hoping that you can find closure and much happier days find you very soon:)
Make certain your Aunt has paid for the funeral/arrangements as promised.
You are looking for something from your Aunt that for whatever reason she may be incapable of giving, her love and respect.
Ask yourself what is it that you hope to accomplish by bringing these issues up now. Do you think your Aunt will give the response you want?
She lost a brother, you lost a father, do you think it is appropriate being stuck on something so trival; you know timing is everything and sometimes we need to let these things be and let God.
I always say, if someone don't want to ride my bandwagon, it is their loss not mine. Some folks will love you others won't and being related really has no baring on it.
As you say, you know exactly how your Aunt feel about you and if what you say is true, then rehashing it can only have a negative impact.
Honor your father's life and move on; if your Aunt want a relationship with you, let her reach out and if she doesn't... Well it is her loss, live the very best life you can without her in it.
You can choose to be the bigger person and let it go, accept it for what it is; just let it go, because two wrongs can never be right.
it want make you feel better in fact these actions will only cause you more harm than good and it is not worth it, nothing is. .
)oung people really don't know the value of time in the ratio of life.
Stress shortens a lifecycle, what if we had a clock that told us each time we got angry seconds, minute, hours, days, weeks, months, even years are lost from our lives.
I think we all would tread litely, certainly we wouldn't be so careless in wasting time.
The quality of life is spent on these choices that are aimlessly made. Most young adult place no value in time and how precious it is as if they are invincible.
A wise person would know, that what they choose to do today will in time effect their future and if by some miracle, these lessons are mastered at a younger age the more peaceful the world would be. .
It is wise to treat people the way we would want to be treated. Be respectiful to your elders. Don't seek to do harm, because the very trap you set for others is the one you build for yourself.
Hey, whatever; you do you. Everyone must choose for themselves and some lessons can only be taught by experience. I wish you the best in any case.
I myself have to keep a reminder of what Master Yoda once said: "Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger; anger leads to hate; hate leads to suffering." Once all is taken care of you might want to issue a final farewell and let go -- I'm waiting to do the same -- and with a three-fingered Boston cabbie salute, "see you Auntie!!!" ;-)