I am a 34 year old mother of 3, newly married to a great and wonderful man, with a baby on the way. My previous husband was abusive both physically and mentally. During my divorce my parents were supportive and bonded with my children. My children continue to have a relationship with their father, and I try to support whatever might be healthy for them. My problem is that my parents do not like my husband. My father had terrible words in front of my children in which one of his comments was that my husband would be f*** my daughter like he f*** me. It really hurt when he said that, and my mother stood by and didn't say a word, and I was the only one trying to get the children away from the drama. My father disowned me, but my mother tried to maintain a relationship with me to see the grandchildren. After that incident, I insisted that all visitation with the grandchildren would be supervised. My mother tells me that she is hurt that I do not trust them etc. etc...but I am firm on this point. Well, recently my brother bought a car from my ex (the one who abused me). I told my brother I thought that it was inconsiderate of my feelings. Well my mother states that I shouldn't care. My ex feels comfortable to call my parents and he speaks with my brothers. Personally I feel that my family does not have my back. I have to have a relationship with my ex for the sake of the children, but my parents should support me. Ever since my husband and I got married, my parents have grown closer and closer to my ex., to the point that I feel like he is their son and I am not a member of the family. I am deeply hurt by my parents actions and words. So hurt, that I am numb at times. I do not have a mother and daughter relationship with my mother, and I am expecting a baby and it is hard because I don't have that bond to share with my mother. After this recent stunt with the car and my ex, I no longer want to speak with my mother or have a relationship with my parents. I don't really have anything to say to my brothers either. I look at my husbands relationship with his parents and I get so jealous. How does one deal with the pain of this type of thing? Any advice is welcome.
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