Family Issues Support Group

Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.

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Disown my family?

deleted_user
deleted_user
I read some postings and feel like I don't have the worst family, but not the best. I have been in an unhealthy relationship for 10 years (married 6). My sister has been part of my support system. Recently, she snapped and told me she doesn't want to talk about my marriage anymore; it has strained her. As she is saying this, it felt like someone stabbed me. This whole time I thought she was being supportive when it was being passive-aggressive and not tell me how she felt...then it exploded. My 'family' support structure is depleted; my brother cares less; my mom and I are not talking; my dad and I are fine but I don't feel comfortable talking about it, as their marriage ended years ago and had a bad experience.

I am slowly drifting away from them emotionally and physically. I don't want to go home for holidays to visit; I don't enjoy myself. I heard not having a good relationship with your family is not a good thing. I am planning to end my toxic marriage with no "net" to catch me. Is it possible to survive a divorce without family support? Can you live a healthy life without them?
deleted_user
deleted_user
I bet if you have made the final decisiion to end your marriage, then your sister will be there to support you. You have probably been telling her the problems with your marriage for so long that she feels there is nothing more she can say until you finally make that final decision. She is probably very tired of hearing all the negatives things your husband has done to you and your marriage. However, I think once you begin the steps to end your marriage, she will be there for you all the way.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Absolutely you can live a healthy life without your birth family in the picture. I did it. It was making that break that helped keep me sane. My mother was a miserable old bat, and she made my life so very difficult and unpleasant. So I moved away, far enough that you could not go to her city for the day and then go home, it was just too far. That really worked for me. I am glad I did it.

Sometimes it's that distance that saves us, be it in miles or in talking and/or visiting the toxic person. If you think some space will help you, do it!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I don't speak from experience, but from those who have been through it. I would say, be very careful about how you go about leaving. Make sure you know what your legal rights are in regards to your divorce. It would also help if you have a decent job in order to support yourself financially. This can be a huge burden otherwise and make you feel more miserable and depressed than you already are.

I think it is completely possible to live a healthy happy life without family members. However, any close relationship in tact, friends for support, would help.

And like one person pointed out in responding to your post, you sister will probably be there for you now that you have finally made the decision to leave. Just like my sister, I love her, but I am tired of hearing the "same" old problems for over 20 years now. She's done nothing about it and its frustrating to hear her go on and on about how bad things are. If I knew she was going to make a serious change, I would totally be there for her.

I can't sit and listen to her depression over her life constantly without her making a move, and I'm all out of suggestions. It depresses me, makes me sad and I have my own life to deal with and it's own set of issues. Not to be selfish, but that's life.
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