I have two children (daughter and son) by previous marriage and my husband has three children (two daughters and a son) by his previous marriage. We are going on three years of marriage coming up November 2009. My children both are married and live on their own. My husband's son was 14 years old when we got married and lived with us from the beginning (eventual challenge for me). My husband's middle child (daughter) lived with us a short time - a mistake from the start - she now has two children out of wedlock, they were both preemies, two different father's, government aide, etc, etc. I just want to try and understand why is it difficult for my husband to communicate with me concerning problems that occur. I have tried to have a relationship with his children, which in the beginning went well. Now that some time has passed and children getting older and start sewing their wild oats and their dad (my husband) will NOT set boundaries or structure, needless to say we have faced several problems and it hits me hard. I was a divorced, single mom for the most part in my children's lives. My daughter was 5 yrs old and my son was 8 months old when I went through a divorce in 1989. It was hard and many decisions to be made and you know what, I had rules and set a standard. We were not a perfect family and we had many problems but we made it through. Getting back to my husband's children. My husband's daughter who is 21 yrs old (middle child) wants to straddle my husband when he is sitting in a chair or when he is lounging in a recliner or chase lounger, she wants to lay on top of him (face to face) and I feel very uncomfortable with this, it looks very odd and sick. The first time I saw her do this was a little more than a year ago and I addressed this with my husband then and asked him several questions as to why he felt like she was acting like this. He did not seem to know why! The problem is my husband will not talk with his daughter about the issue at all. I let him know this kind of behavior would not be tolerated. He now moved her away with his hand. Since then, she lays on top of her 17 year old brother, and has sat in an uncles lap where my husbands dad made her get up stating that was not appropriate behavior and she was in the bath tub giving her two babies a bath with her fiance' in there helping her with the children along with her 17 yr. old brother present as well. She does not have her own place to live, at this time she was living with my husband parents (out of state) who were trying to help her out, and her brother was spending the summer there. My mother-in-law suspected something and went to the back and found her brother in the bathroom with them - sister nude - fiance' helping bathe children - brother in the midst of this garbage - I addressed all of this STUFF with my husband and he does not want to talk with his daughter or son about this unacceptable behavior and he does not want me to address it either. I have grandchildren that I do not want around his children because of this....what to do??? At wits end!!!!
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