
Family & Friends of Cancer Patients Support Group
This community is dedicated to parents, siblings, grandparents, other relatives, friends and caretakers of cancer patients. It's difficult to find a safe place to talk about caring for a loved one with cancer, and so this group serves as an open forum to foster positivity and support for those going through this tough time.

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My husband just found out he got about 7 tumors, it hard to get into it. My husband has not been him self and I"m having a hard time seeing him like he is. We don't see much of each other since he works up in west va monday thru thursday, so when he comes home we try to make the most of the weekend. But this last two weekend he just been wanted to spend time to him self, and I"m losing my patients.
I need help here, how do you deal with the news along with your loves ones? I know everyone deals with it differently but at first the news the shocking part.
Jen
I need help here, how do you deal with the news along with your loves ones? I know everyone deals with it differently but at first the news the shocking part.
Jen
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
He had good days and bad days. When he first got diagnosed and they told him the growth on his arm was malignant cancer and they might have to amputate, he was scared. Throughout his fight, I know he was scared, but he never said it. There were tears, but not alot. Mostly, he was worried about me and that's when he got very adamant that the cancer wasn't going to beat him.
I know I mothered him alot and drove him crazy...but I did try to give him his space and that's really all I can suggest. Sometimes, you need time to yourself to deal with what's going on. Keep yourself available to him and just try to be patient.
But, recently she said they were going to do a procedure to remove it and she would only be in the hospital overnight. I grew suspicious because I thought if it wasn't bothering her why are they now going to remove it. Then, while she was being prepped for the procedure and the doc came in to explain everything he mentioned the cancer...I was floored to say the least, I didn't even know.
My mom is a very private person, and she also worries about everyone but herself. She didn't even tell me it was cancer because she probably didn't want to worry me. My dad was sick a few years back and he passed away, she kept the extent of his illness a secret until I spoke to the doc myself. Right now I am also trying to be positive around my mom, she is a very positive person, and she said she is not worried about the cancer. I am though, the procedure she had done there is no way they can tell if they got it all or not. She doesn't even want anyone to know she has it. I am so stressed right now, and I also break down, when by myself, my husband has also been my rock in all of this also, or I couldn't bear it.
When someone has cancer it is hard on the whole family. The person deals with it in their own way, and sometimes it may be different in the way we as family members deal. All I can say to you is hang in there and give them their space when they want it, but be there when they need you also. ((((hugs))))
I feel fortunate that we are a couple who talk. We agreed right at the beginning that we would be direct with each other about what was happening and how we feel.
I try very hard to keep to this committment, but there is no question that I become overwhelmed and I don't talk with Charlie. Anyone in our shoes would be overwhelmed.
My husband copes by going out in the yard and pulling weeds. He says this is very relaxing and meditative. He needs this time to chill, regroup, rejuvenate.
I cope by managing all of his medical issues, his medical treatment, and his medical care. This is my way of saying I love you very much, Charlie.
I guess what I would tell you is that you need to find a way to cope as a couple and as individuals. They are not the same thing. Each of you needs to absorb the news and accept it before you can begin to deal with it as a couple.
Just remember that a lot of men have a tendency to withdraw, women have a tendency to share.
I don't know if this helped or not. Good Luck.