Family & Friends of Bipolar Support Group
This community is dedicated to parents, siblings, grandparents, other relatives and friends of someone who is Bipolar. The purpose of this community is to help families and friends develop greater patience and understanding, as well as maintain a positive, caring relationships with those diagnosed as Bipolar.
I have tried to establish how I got to this point.
My heart is troubled yes. I know I am to love my wife but I have felt betrayed. I need a wife that will lift me up instead I find one that is tearing me down approx 80% of the time.
The noise around me is deafening. I can barely hear the thoughts swimming around in my head. I see the stress that she faces but I dont know where to start, as I fear I may get my head bitten off if I try to help.
How can I build her up, as she too is weak? Her life has been wearied by the struggles she faces too.
I ran to the closest source of comfort my best friend who unnf is a woman. I used her for something she could not provide, as she is a good wife who loves her husband dearly. I used her for a source of strength and for the encouragement that she so freely gave. (Emotional support is what I wanted) This demanded more time and energy on her part. She needed that time for her hubby. Only when it was too late did I realize what I had done. I had driven away my friend and forced an even further rift with my wife. My friend's hubby described the relationship as unhealthy. I describe it as a man in desperate need of acceptance running to the only source he knew. Sure it was wrong but it was needed for me to stay sane. How would you cope with a wife that wants nothing to do with you and a mother that wanted to commit suicide? Desperate times call for disparate measures so the saying goes.
Where to from now? That remains a question left unanswered. Through counseling maybe I can find the answer. Maybe by Gods grace my friendship can be restored to. That remains to be seen.
Your words of advice would be much appreciated
My heart is troubled yes. I know I am to love my wife but I have felt betrayed. I need a wife that will lift me up instead I find one that is tearing me down approx 80% of the time.
The noise around me is deafening. I can barely hear the thoughts swimming around in my head. I see the stress that she faces but I dont know where to start, as I fear I may get my head bitten off if I try to help.
How can I build her up, as she too is weak? Her life has been wearied by the struggles she faces too.
I ran to the closest source of comfort my best friend who unnf is a woman. I used her for something she could not provide, as she is a good wife who loves her husband dearly. I used her for a source of strength and for the encouragement that she so freely gave. (Emotional support is what I wanted) This demanded more time and energy on her part. She needed that time for her hubby. Only when it was too late did I realize what I had done. I had driven away my friend and forced an even further rift with my wife. My friend's hubby described the relationship as unhealthy. I describe it as a man in desperate need of acceptance running to the only source he knew. Sure it was wrong but it was needed for me to stay sane. How would you cope with a wife that wants nothing to do with you and a mother that wanted to commit suicide? Desperate times call for disparate measures so the saying goes.
Where to from now? That remains a question left unanswered. Through counseling maybe I can find the answer. Maybe by Gods grace my friendship can be restored to. That remains to be seen.
Your words of advice would be much appreciated
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
Hope this helps.
my mother is abusive and unstable, and i have had too many abusive relationships for my liking as well.
"All I know is that the need to be rescued from abuse puts you in a position to be abused again, because, like you said, an abuser can easily mask himself as a rescuer. The only way to around that is to heal enough on your own that you are comfortable either in a relationship or not. The need for mutual companionship has to outweigh the need for compansionship, so in order for you to maintain any sort of control in the relationship, you have to be ready and able to leave it. You have to trust yourself as much as you trust anyone else in being able to guide the relationship towards your need rather than it being all about his.
Spend time now alone and unattached and become confident and comfortable with that. Find friends to fill the void of companionship and seek therapy to deal with your anger and resentment. In time you will discover people who have good solid relationships and then study those values and characteristics." -revpatty
this doesn't fit your situation entirely, but i think there are still some really good things in what she wrote.
like, getting some therapy might be a big help. I've also found that spreading my need for support out among ppl is much better for me and also my friends.
i'm so sorry you going through all of this. And i really hope things start to improve for you and your family soon. It must be very difficult =[
are your wife and mum seeing a pdoc?
i try and watch a lot of funny youtube videos [this group taught me that one], exercise, rant in my journal, and do a lot of artwork to help me deal and of course my friends here and in the 'real' world help a lot.
an keep posting here, i know DS is a big support for me.