I have always been told that with every relationship there needs to be a line in the sand that is not crossed or should it be crossed then the relationship would perish. Me and my wife have been through alot, I am no saint and I have made plenty of mistakes, all of which I feel I have paid for and then some. The shitty thing is that anytime she goes into a manic rage or depression I pay for all of those mistakes made 4, 5, and 6 years ago. Hundreds of apologies later nothing seems to help her to get over them, and before you go thinking I am a bad person I didn't cheat or anything of that nature. In fact one of the worst things I did that was anything close to that was lie about going to Juice Shack twice with a girl (whcih happened to be our usual waitress that one day decided to tell us over serving us all breakfast that I looked identical to a guy who was her best friends boyfriend who was killed a year prior by a drunk driver). There was and is nothing between either of us, but I still should not have lied to her about it, its just she jumps to conclusions and they are usually not correct and once she jumps there is no way to get her back onto the reality train. I still feel a tremendous amount of guilt for lying about it, but have apologized at least 50 -60 times for it. I just don't know what to do. I cant stand having to re-live these mistakes I have made over and over and over again, I would never and have not done this to her. There is such a double standard between us, she does whatever she wants and if anyone tries to tell her NO all hell breaks loose, if she says no and anyone says YES, thats all she wrote. So where does one draw the line then? I want to be the husband she needs me to be, the problem is I don't seem to know how... I need help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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