my partner of 9 years has been in therapy for a year and a half, and has hit on some relly heavy things this last year. the sudden release of emotion and pain seems to have thrown her into what i thought was depression, but with some research and guidance have come to see as more bipolar like. she has her first psychiatist appt. on wednesday and we are just trying to hang in there til she can get diagnosed and treated. in the mean time, and it does sometimes seem mean, i spend all my time trying to read her mood and watch for signs and head off huge swings by suggesting a trip to the gym or some household errand to give her something to focus on/release some of the crazy anxious energy. she can swing from laughing and playing with our daughter and me to angry and growling and threatening to leave etc., i speak slowly and quietly and try to talk her down out of it with reminders of how good she is and that this is just temporary and it wasn't always like this and it won't always be like this, that she'll get through it and it'll be okay. after she comes out of yelling at me and being mean, she get's hopeless and says,(when she can talk) that she doesn't think it'll get better and it's not fair and it's so bad...then when she comes out of that she cries and apologizes and can't breathe and says she's sorry it's so unfair to me and she's no good and she doesn't want to be like this but she can't stop it and doesn't realize it's coming or that she's being like that until she's coming out on the other side of it all. when i try to tell her how good she is and all the progress that she has made this past year, it's like she can't bear to hear it. like it's really hard and she can't stand it. she shakes her head and tries to make me stop saying it, but i feel like if i do stop saying these things she will think that i agree with her that she's terrible and not worth it. other days she's fine if not fidgety with extra energy, which is okay when she's playing sports, but she's not currently. other days she seems fine, but those days are fewer and farther between lately, haven't had one of those in a while. on her good days she seems to try to make it all up to me with thoughtful texts and foot massages and sweet attention. anyway, does this sound at all familiar and am i doing the right things? are there other things i should be doing? i love her and i am really worried that it's getting worse so quickly. she was hospitalized twice as a teenager and put on prozac. diagnosed depressive with borderline bipolar? also was self medicating back then, so there's that... any help or advice would be so great. sorry this was so long, thanks.
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